The Bon Voyage Parenthesis
by Spacedup
Summary: Sheldon uncovers something about Penny that surprises him. So while Leonard is away researching gravitation radiation, Sheldon and Penny work on their own theory of relativity. Are they just resuming their friendship? Or could it mean more? Takes place after 'The Bon Voyage Reaction'.
1. Chapter 1

**The was originally written as an episode one-shot, which takes place after 'The Bon Voyage Reaction' but there have been a few requests to extend it. So, ****this will now tell the (shenny) story, of what happens in the four months, while Leonard is at sea. I apologize for the brevity in the writing of this chapter, it was churned out quickly. I do not own The Big Bang Theory.**

* * *

When Bernadette offered to drive Raj and Amy home, Penny was relieved. Raj had continued to chatter non-stop for an hour. She had drunk her wine so quickly, she felt a heady warmth envelope her and had barely listened to his ramblings in the end. Leaning against the door frame, she listened as his voice faded away down the stairs.

The door across the hall opened. "Was that Raj?" Sheldon said.

"Yes, you just missed him. He's taking full advantage of the fact he can speak to girls now."

"Oh, I was going to pre-book our Superman tickets. Never mind, I'll catch him at work tomorrow."

"Ugh, I wish you had come over," she said, "…and changed the subject!"

"Hmm, he was all weepy. I don't like weepy."

"No, he wasn't but he was talking, a lot."

Sheldon glanced at the floor and then asked, "Why did Lucy break up with him?"

"She has anxiety problems."

"What kind of anxiety problems?"

"She finds social gatherings difficult. Raj wanted her to come to the party. He was pushing her into things she wasn't ready for."

"And she broke up with him, over that?"

"I guess."

"Isn't that, why you broke up with Leonard… before?"

"Well actually, it kind of is."

"Did you had anxiety problems, too?"

"No," she laughed, "but he wanted something from me, that I was not ready for, at the time."

"So, this is considered an congruous justification for resolution?" he said, his eyes darting around.

"A what? I suppose."

"Thank you, Penny. Good night." He turned and began to close the door behind him.

"Hold on!" she said.

She followed him in to the apartment, and sat down. He gave her a baffled look. "Do you require something?"

"What's going on?"

"Going on?"

"Are you thinking about breaking up with Amy?" she gasped.

"The paradigm to terminate both relationships has the same foundation. An unwelcome demand."

"But you can't break-up with Amy!"

"How is it appropriate for others to conclude their relationships due to a conflict of interest, but not myself?"

Penny placed a hand gently on his arm, "Sweetie, Amy is patient."

"Perhaps, but while a scientific constant takes many dimensional forms it nevertheless, remains unchanged."

"Huh?"

"Amy's needs are a constant. Whether today or next year, they are fixed. It is I, who must adapt to accommodate them."

"I know sweetie, but you will."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I know that you are trying. You will know when you are ready."

"Did you know, when you were ready?"

"I dunno, my first time was a bit of a blur," she said leaning in with a smile, "He was cute, I was young and I'd had a few coolers."

"Do you recommend I get intoxicated?"

"No," she said, "I don't recommend that."

"But how did you help Raj?"

"I didn't really help Raj."

"He has recovered from his social anxiety, has he not?"

"Yes but I didn't do anything. When I left you in the car, I knocked on his door and he was just talking. We didn't realize for a few minutes that he had not had any alcohol."

Sheldon shook his head, "Remarkable!"

"I know!"

"There must be a further explanation."

"We think the upset over Lucy, caused it."

"Has Raj not experienced this many times before?"

"Well, yes" she said, "but maybe he liked her more, than the others."

"The upset over Lucy caused a biological change," he mused.

"Err… yeah."

"..but what was the reactant?"

"The what?"

"A reactant is required to complete a chemical reaction," he said. He sat for a few seconds thinking, then turning towards her, he announced "It _was_ you!"

"No, I just turned up and…"

"You did this."

"Oh, I'm sure I didn't," she blushed.

Sheldon stared at Penny with wide eyes. "Raj had a temporarily increase in cortisol and norepinephrine and you visited him at the optimum moment in that cycle."

"I was worried, I had to go and see if he was okay."

"It was your countenance," he said, staring at her in awe.

"My what?"

Penny felt as though she was being studied very closely. He was staring at her, as if he were seeing her clearly, for the very first time. "You fix people!" he said.

"Oh Sheldon, that's very sweet," she said, patting his arm affectionately. She stood up and made her way to the door. "I must be going now. Don't worry, sweetie. Things will work out. Call me if you need anything." And then she left.

He sat for a moment, contemplating what he had just uncovered, "You could fix me," he said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

Raj wanted to celebrate. He arranged a 'dinner-slash-party' evening, at his favorite new restaurant. Everyone arrived at 8pm sharp, they were seated at a long wooden table for six. He insisted Penny sit to the right of him, Bernadette to his left and Amy opposite, "I want to be surrounded by all my girlfriends," he said.

He was in high spirits, aiming questions at the girls, in quick succession. "How was your day?" "What do you think of my new sweater vest?" "How brave is Angelina?"

"Aren't you going to ask us guys, anything?" Howard said, sarcastically, as he sat down opposite his wife.

"Yeah, whatever dude!" Raj replied.

Sheldon, who was taking little notice of the chitchat, sat opposite Penny. His eyes were focused downwards and he seemed in a complete world of his own. 'At least, he made the effort to wear a nice shirt and tie,' she thought.

"How about some champagne?" Bernadette said, "I know you don't need it, to talk to us, but this is an important moment."

"Yes, lets mark the occasion," said Penny.

"Definitely, lets all have some," said Amy, glancing over at Sheldon, who didn't seem to be listening.

"Fantastic!" said Raj. He ordered two bottles and six glasses and asked the waiter to fill all the glasses. Sheldon finally looked up at the glass, which had been placed in front of him. He frowned.

"It's a non-optional social convention," Penny said, before he could protest. He looked towards Amy for assurance and she nodded.

Howard raised his glass, "I'd like to make a toast," he said, "Raj has been my best friend for many years now and as he begins this brand new chapter in his life, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, I wish him as much luck, as I have had," he said, smiling at Bernadette, "To Raj!" he raised his glass.

"Raj!" they all replied, and took a sip. Sheldon watched as the others drunk from their glasses and then copied, screwing up his nose at the taste.

"Thank you so much everyone," Raj said, his voice cracking with emotion, "I'm especially pleased to be here, with the girls because you are the only female friends I have," he sobbed.

"Aw Raj," said Bernadette.

"…and I wanted to tell you, what I could never say before. You all mean so much to me."

"Oh Raj, you mean a lot to us too," said Penny.

Everyone smiled and settled down to their dinners. Raj continued to chat to each of the girls, excitedly. After a while, Penny started to enjoy the evening and to forget how much she missed Leonard. She still had her friends and they would be a great comfort, over the next four months. She watched as Amy chatted to Raj and then tried to involve Sheldon in the conversation. Sheldon didn't make much of a dinner date, Penny thought. He seemed more interesting in navigating his food around his plate, then in the company. This didn't bother her in the slightest though, she was just happy everyone was together.

"I'd like to make another toast," said Raj, "this one is to Lucy, who's heart crushing actions, made it possible for me to overcome my barriers," he said, "To Lucy!"

"Lucy!" they all toasted.

"And Penny." Sheldon had finally spoken.

They all turned and looked at him. "Don't you want to thank, Penny?" he said, looking at Raj.

"Oh no, I did nothing…" she protested.

"Nonsense,' he said, "you activated a transformative response."

Raj thought for a moment, then nodded, "I suppose that could be possible," he said.

"It's highly probable. Penny has an aptitude for providing assistance. I never considered that a lesser mind, might harbor a useful component within, but I suppose even the weakest bee, plays a part in the hive."

"Gee thanks!" she snapped.

"Err, actually Penny," Howard said, "I think that might have been a compliment."

"It was a compliment," Sheldon shot back.

"Oh… well thank you Sheldon."

"He does have a point," Howard said, "If it weren't for you, Penny, I'd still be hitting strip joints and getting my face slapped at university bars."

"And we'd never even be married," Bernadette said, in agreement.

"And I still wouldn't have any friends," said Amy.

Penny felt a little embarrassed at all the attention. "Oh guys…"

"To Penny!" Raj said, raising his glass.

"Penny!" they chorused.

On the way home, she watched her friends chatting amongst themselves and felt so full of warmth and happiness. She didn't know if she had really done all those things, but she realized how important they had become to her. She wished Leonard had been there, to share that moment. As soon as she got home, she decided to email him. When she logged on, an instant message window opened.

Leonard: "Hello Penny."

Penny: "Hi honey, you're online. How's the ship?"

Leonard: "Incredible, the team are great. I'm very excited about everything we're doing. It's amazing."

Penny: "That's so cool! I have some news about Raj."

Leonard: "Yes, I heard. He sent an emergency telegram, I thought someone had died! "

Penny: "LOL! It's great, isn't it? We went out tonight. I wish you could have been there."

Leonard: "Me too, I'm really happy for him. What happened?"

Penny: "He was really hurt over Lucy and he just started talking to me."

Leonard: "Oh, the poor guy."

Penny: "I know. Sheldon has this idea, that I played a part."

Leonard: "LOL! you know Sheldon and his crazy notions."

She paused.

Penny: "Yeah, that's Sheldon alright."

Leonard: "I hope he's not giving you any bother."

Penny: "No, he's fine."

Leonard: "I miss you."

Penny: "I miss you too."

After they said goodnight, Penny felt deflated. She dragged herself to bed and fell asleep almost straight away. When she woke up, the following day, her first thought, were those two words. "Crazy notions." What was so crazy? Maybe, she did have an aptitude for providing assistance, as Sheldon had put it. She knew Leonard hadn't meant it to sound that way. He hadn't been there. She decided to put it, out of her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Penny was on her way back from work. She had promised to keep an eye on Sheldon, so she knocked on his door, again. There was still no answer. She had knocked several times, over the last two weeks. "He must be out, again," she thought. The last time they had spoken, was at Raj's dinner and she had not run into him on the stairs, or heard him coming and going. Come to think of it, that was rather odd. She had expected at least one annoying request. He usually wanted to be driven somewhere, or to be checked for some terminal disease. An hour before the dinner, he had asked, "Does my skin look pallid?"

"What's that mean?"

"Pale, insipid."

"You always look pale and insipid," she had said, sarcastically.

"Penny, this is serious. I believe I have contracted hypothyroidism."

"No, you haven't. You have contracted _trying-to-avoid-dinner-ism_?"

She waited for a few more seconds, outside the apartment door. Frowning, she slowly turned away and retrieved her keys from her bag. "I suppose Amy must be taking care of all his requests now," she thought.

When she got inside, she dropped a quick email to Leonard telling him about her day. There wasn't a lot to say. Jerry, her boss, was being his usual annoying self and the tips weren't great this week. She mentioned she hadn't seen Sheldon and told him, she wished he was there.

Penny sighed. The apartment was very quiet. She switched on the TV. The sound was a comfort but she wasn't really watching. She was lonely. Since she had started dating Leonard, she had lost touch with a lot of her old friends. They just seemed worlds apart now, because she had changed so much. There was one girl, she still connected with called Debbie. She used to be in her acting class. They hadn't spoken in ages, so she decided to drop her a text. As she placed her phone down, there was a loud noise.

Bang... bang... scrape.

What the hell was that?

She sprung out of her seat and turned the TV down. The noises had come from the direction of 4a. She got up and made her way across the hall.

Knock, knock.

Suddenly, she felt a little afraid and wished she hadn't knocked. She had not seen Sheldon for far too long. Something was terribly wrong. Spurred into action, she rushed back to her apartment and retrieved a baseball bat from the cupboard. The bat had been procured for a moment just like this and whoever was in there, was going to get it. Junior rodeo style!

Knock, knock. "Who's in there?" she demanded.

"I am." It was Sheldon's voice.

She dropped the arm holding the bat, "Huh! It _is_ you."

The door opened a couple of inches and his face appeared in the gap. "Hello Penny."

"I heard a noise, what are you doing?"

He looked down at the bat in her hand, "Why are you carrying a bat?"

"I thought you were a burglar!" she said.

"And you thought it prudent to confront a burglar alone? Isn't that rather foolhardy?"

She considered this for a moment. He was right but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction, "Why didn't you answer the door earlier?" she said, turning it back on him.

"I was busy."

"Busy, doing what?"

"I would explain but it's beyond your comprehension," he said, in a matter of fact way.

Penny's eyes narrowed. "Fine, just do it quietly."

He nodded and the door snapped shut.

Ugh, that whack-a-doodle! Well, if he wasn't going to tell her, she wasn't going to ask further. It had been a little crazy going over there with a baseball bat but she was worried about him and was being a friend. He wasn't being much of a friend. Cooped up in that apartment for two weeks on his own. Doing, god knows what.

When she got back, she noticed Debbie had returned her text. "Go to Glendale Galleria on Monday at 12 noon. There's an open audition for a false eyelash commercial."

"Wow, thanks Debs! Are you going?"

"No, it's not really my look honey but you'd be perfect!"

* * *

Penny arrived at Howard and Bernadette's apartment that Sunday. "Hi Penny, glad you could make it," Bernadette said, as she opened the door.

"Hi Bernie, thanks for inviting me," she said.

Howard, Raj and Amy were already seated at the table. "Take a seat and help yourself to a drink," Bernadette said.

Penny said hello to the others and sat down. "Where's Sheldon?" she asked, pouring herself an orange juice.

"I texted him but he didn't want to come," Amy said, looking depressed.

"Oh, that's a shame," she said, "I've barely seen him lately."

"Neither have I!" she said.

"Oh no, really?" said Bernadette.

"The night after Leonard went away was wonderful. We had a romantic meal and watched movies. I was so happy," she said beaming, "…but since then, he's always busy. Every time I go round he's never home."

Penny didn't say anything. Sheldon was home, he just wasn't answering the door.

"What do you think he's doing?" asked Bernadette.

"Raj and I think he's building a nest," Howard.

Raj chuckled.

"Well, I saw him once," said Penny, "…he told me he was doing something _beyond my comprehension_."

"Weird and condescending, that sounds normal," said Howard, with a grin.

"He cancelled date night this week and he never does that," Amy sighed.

"He also cancelled Halo night on Wednesday," said Raj.

"Wow, he must be really missing Leonard. He's too proud to admit it," Penny said.

"I guess so but I was hoping we would spend more time together, now Leonard is away," Amy said.

"Don't worry Ames," said Penny, "I'll get to the bottom of it."

* * *

Penny got the commercial. She blew off work that day and queued for hours to be seen. They were looking for regular girls, not professionals and held the selections in the mall. Which meant, they were avoiding agencies and only had a small budget. The commercial was going to be for a cheap European eyelash range, which was being launched to the US called Peek-a-you. She had never heard of it before but she didn't care. It was all good experience and she was so excited to finally have another paid acting gig.

On her way home, she picked up some takeout and ran up the stairs feeling exhilarated. She stood for a moment outside 4a. This had gone on long enough. Banging loudly on the door, she called out, "Sheldon, I know you're in there."

The door opened a little, "Oh, it's _you_."

"Yes it's me," she said, "Why are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding."

"Well… let me in then. I have news."

"What kind of news?"

"I landed another commercial!"

"Well, congratulations, I'm pleased for you" he said.

"So… dinner is on me," she said, holding up the bags.

"You brought me dinner?" he said, stunned.

"Like I said, I got a commercial….make the most of it," she joked.

"Very well," he said, opening the door wider, so she could enter.

The room looked different. He had moved both desks together and there were files everywhere, in neat little piles. The whiteboards were set up next to the desks. The armchair was pushed into a corner and he had all manner of video gaming paraphernalia set up around his spot with dozens of wires, taped to the floor.

"Redecorating?"

"Optimizing the apartment."

"So, now Leonard's away, you've turned the place into a combination of your office and the Pasadena games arcade."

"Precisely," he said, sitting down in his spot.

"Well, it could have been worse."

"What do you mean by that?" he said.

"Oh nothing," she said, smiling as she glanced around the room. Howard was right, this was a nest. "We just thought you might be missing Leonard."

"I'm far too busy to miss anyone," he snapped, a little too quickly.

"Okay, okay… but what are all those files?"

"Neutrino Telescope results, studying the subdominant effects from the Lorentz invariance and coincident neutrino emission with gravitational waves."

"Oh, _that!_," she said, sarcastically.

Penny sat down and began to unpack the containers. She had made extra sure that Sheldon's tangerine chicken was just as he liked it. He picked it up and eyed it suspiciously.

"Hmmm," he said.

"Okay?" he asked.

"So far…" he said, "…so what is the commercial enterprise, which is paying for my dinner?" said Sheldon.

"False eyelashes," she said.

He gave her a puzzled look, "False what?"

"Eyelashes… Look, they gave me some samples," she said, taking one out and holding it up to her eye.

"B-but… why?!" he said, confused.

"Girls wear them look extra pretty," she said.

He didn't look convinced at all, "Baffling!" he said.

"They're quite good for a cheap range. But they have some ridiculous color options. Like this florescent blue. I guess the Europeans like that sort of thing but who would wear them?"

"Ohhh now those, are more promising," said Sheldon, looking at the box in Penny's hand.

"They are?" she said.

"Yes, for all the blue heroines in film and anime, of course. Diva Plavalaguna, Raven Darkholme, Neytiri from Avatar."

"Errr yeah… I'm sure that's what they were thinking," she said, smirking.

Sheldon didn't notice, he just smiled smugly and began to pick at his food.

"Sheldon," she said, "there was another reason I stopped by."

"Oh?"

"You didn't come to lunch at Bernie's on Sunday."

"I saw no practical reason to attend."

"You also cancelled date night with Amy."

"That is correct."

"…and Halo with the guys... are you sure you are not missing Leonard,"

"Don't be absurd!"

"Sheldon, it's okay to miss your best friend."

"I assure you, this is not about _Leonard_."

"So why cancel on the guys? Don't you love games?"

"Well considering I'm playing Call of Duty 4, with a kid in Taiwan this very evening. I still do."

"But Amy thought you would be hanging out more. So did I, for that matter."

"Amy _thought!_" he snapped.

Penny gave him a knowing stare, "Is this about Amy?"

"Certainly not…" His face began to twitch, wildly, "…it's about upward-going muons in Cherenkov radiation."

"Sheldon... are you worried about Amy being here… while Leonard is away?"

"Oh drat! you've seen right through my clever ruse."

She smiled.

"Amy wants to get... romantic, as you know. She was so excited about being here after Leonard left. She kept talking about all the things we could do together. How we would be much closer by the time he returned."

"Is that why you're not answering your door? In case, its Amy on the other side?"

He gave her the look of a scolded child. "I suppose."

"Oh Sheldon!"

"I'm not comfortable with things moving any faster but I suspect this is exactly, what she anticipates."

"Have you told her this?"

"No…" he said in a small voice, "Amy and I discussed our progress when we played D&D. I gave her all I could then, but I'm afraid that if I can't give more now, she'll get tired of waiting."

"She won't do that!"

"She might, you have to help me, Penny."

"Me?"

"Yes, this is your forte."

"No, it's not. I wouldn't know where to start."

"I believe your attitude is known as, a crisis of confidence."

"Which means?"

"You have the aptitude but no faith in your ability, due to your complete failure to achieve anything meaningful to your life. Besides, carnal exploits."

Penny's eyes narrowed in anger, "That better be another compliment, mister!"

"Hmm yes, also an observation."

"Huh!"

Ding, ding

"Ooh… Leo is online. It's time to play," he said, picking up a controller.

"The kid you're playing is called… Leo?"

"Yes, why?"

Penny rolled her eyes.

"Never mind…" she said, "…I'll to leave you to play your game but I'll be checking in on you again. No matter what you say Sheldon, this isn't healthy locking yourself up like this."

"This is who I am," he said.

She shook her head, as she made her way to the door.

"Penny?" he said, as he clicked the game to begin.

"Yes?"

"I knew you'd come."


	4. Chapter 4

Raj and Howard were seated in the university café, the following day. "So, is Dr. Crazypants still held up in his lair?" Raj asked.

"Yup, he only leaves when I pick him up for work," Howard said.

"Damn."

"I know, he's treating that apartment like his chrysalis."

"Where he can begin his transformation," said Raj, dramatically.

Howards expression changed to dread, "Oh boy!"

"What?"

"I suddenly got a visual of Sheldon with wings, terrorizing Pasadena," he said. He put on his most commanding voice, "No, mortal scum! Saturday is laundry night. Return to your homes and start separating your coloreds and whites, or suffer the wrath of The Swooping Shel-moth!"

Raj sniggered.

"We really should help him, though dude."

"I guess… but why?"

"Well, you helped me when I locked myself away that time.

"True and Leonard might not have an apartment to come back too, if we don't."

A few seconds later, Sheldon approached the table with a tray. "Hmmm," he said, standing over the chair, looking unsettled.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" Howard asked.

"It's not the same with three, we form a right-angled triangle," he said.

"I prefer to think of us as the fantastic four… minus one," said Raj, shaking his head, sadly.

Sheldon nodded, "Maybe we should consider recruiting a new member, to restore the balance," he said.

"Who?" Raj asked, looking around.

"How about Kripke?" Howard asked, with a grin.

Sheldon glared coldly at him and promptly sat down, "That won't be necessary," he said.

"So Sheldon, what have you been up too lately?" Raj asked.

"Gaming, studying neutrino telescope results, thinking. Mostly thinking."

"Is that wise?" said Howard.

Raj nudged him under the table, with his foot. "Maybe we should resume Halo nights. This might help you, with whatever… you are thinking about?"

"Penny's helping me," he said.

The guys exchanged looks.

"Does she know she's helping you?" Howard said.

"No, not yet."

* * *

Later that evening, Penny invited Amy and Bernadette over for a girlie night. They were chatting about work over a glass of wine.

"Inhalation is deadly, bacillus anthracis is a force to be reckoned with," said Bernadette.

"That sounds scary," Penny said, "you work with that every day?"

"Not every day but it can be scary. The smallest slip up, could wipe out the entire building," she said, a proud smile playing on her lips.

"You're a powerful customer, in a teeny tiny package," Amy said, in awe.

"I always thought so," she said.

"We all did," said Penny.

"So tell me about the commercial," said Bernadette with a big smile.

"Oh it's nothing really. It's a small company, they're not paying much but still I'm really excited to do it," she said, "…and hey, free eyelashes for my besties," she said, reaching into a bag on the floor and handing out the boxes.

"Thanks," said Bernadette.

"Oh!" said Amy, "…I tried these things, once. The application was unsuccessful and I unwittingly spent the afternoon with one stuck to my glasses."

Penny tried not to smirk. "I can help you with that. Try the blue ones, Sheldon liked those."

"He did?"

"Yes, he said they were like some cartoon characters or something."

Amy shrugged. "Right."

"So how's Sheldon getting on?" Bernadette asked.

"Still locked up in his temple of doom," Amy said.

"I suppose that is quite normal for him though."

"Well yes, he was either going to bond with me and treat me as a Leonard replacement, or take a visit to crazy town. I figured my chances were about 50/50."

"There must be a middle ground," said Bernadette.

"Not with Sheldon."

"He relies on Leonard too much, it can't be healthy. He must have been independent before they met," said Penny.

"Yeah, I guess," Amy said.

"So what happened?" Bernadette said.

"He developed co-dependency issues," said Amy.

"Damn!" said Penny.

"Yup, just another thing to add to the list," Amy groaned.

* * *

The following day, Penny opened her email and was pleased to see that Leonard had replied already. He congratulated her on getting the commercial and said he would love to have a picture of her in those false lashes. "I'm sure they are very sexy," he wrote. He then went on to write about his work, on the ship. Dr Gregson and Dr Burkov were his two new work buddies. They had something to do with wave tanks and sea-floor mapping. He didn't mention Sheldon.

She quickly replied. Work will start on the Peek-a-you commercial tomorrow. They are shooting photographic stills for the advertising campaign. She had taken a few days off work and was really looking forward to it. She told him about girls' night and mentioned that Sheldon was still behaving strangely and she was going to keep a closer eye on him. She finished with "He's gaming with a kid called Leo and has all these files everywhere, about telescopes. Bonkers huh?"

Closing her laptop, she strolled across the hall and knocked on the door. "Sheldon, it's me, open up."

The door opened a crack, "Are you alone?"

"Yes."

He opened the door further. He was wearing pajamas and a dressing gown.

"You're not dressed? It's 4.30pm."

"There is no additional benefit in dressing, if I do not exit the building."

Penny gave him a derisive look, "Alright, follow me," she demanded.

"W-where are we going?"

"To my apartment."

"To what end?"

"I'm removing you from your cocoon," she said turning and marching to her door. As she put the key in the lock, she looked back at his blank expression, "Come on!" she insisted.

"Very well, I will call this my first session," he said.

"I'm not a professional, Sheldon," she stopped and thought for a moment, "…come to think of it ….maybe you should consult..."

His eyes began to widen and his jaw tightened. "Okay, okay, I can see that's not going to happen."

"Can I call you doctor?" he said.

"No!... urm… okay why not?" She did like the sound of that.

"Well, of course you're not a real doctor. That would require both intellectual prowess and inclination far beyond your…"

"Don't push it!"

"Well, I never! doctor's are not typically so rude," he said, following her into the apartment.

"Lay on the couch."

"But that's my spot," he said, pointing at the chair.

"Yeah well, I'm removing you from your comfort zone."

"By what decree."

"By none, I'm making it up," she said, "..and I've seen it on TV."

He gave her an uncertain look and then relented, carefully laying down with his legs dangled over the edge.

Penny sat down in the armchair.

"Ohhh, now I'm uncomfortable," he said.

"I know the couch is too short for you."

"No, you're in my spot," he said.

"Close your eyes," she snapped.

"Yes doctor," he swiftly obeyed.

"Now…," she began, "let's start with Amy."

"Okay…," he said, clearing his throat, "well, as you know, I initially planned to terminate our agreement. Until you advised me against it. I have followed your instruction, although I do not understand the logic behind it."

"It wasn't an instruction, Sheldon. I just thought you were being hasty. You need Amy, just like you need Leonard. Breaking up with her, will just isolate you even more."

"Logical, continue."

"Okay, but I don't get it. You have been alone with Amy before. Why is this any different?"

"It's different because it is not preplanned. If I visit Amy, I intend to depart at a given hour. If Amy visits me, Leonard is normally due to return, at a given hour."

"There must have been times, when Leonard didn't return. When he stayed the night with me."

"Yes there were and he would always give me advance notice of this."

"He would?"

"Of course."

Penny was aghast. This was news to her. It wasn't surprising that Sheldon wanted that information but it did surprise her that Leonard was able to give it. He had never mentioned it either. This caused an odd tightness in the pit of her stomach. "So, you knew you would not be alone all night?" she said, her throat feeling dry.

"Yes, I never leave things to chance."

"Okay, so you're scared of Amy staying without the safety net of Leonard arriving back?" she said.

"Not scared, circumspect."

"Alright then, how about I pop over the next time Amy visits? Would you feel more comfortable knowing I would turn up at your chosen time?"

"I would," he said.

"Great! first problem solved."

"Now, how do you feel about Leonard not being around the rest of the time?"

Sheldon paused. She looked at his peaceful face, his eyelids were gently closed and he looked serene. For a split second, she wondered if he had fallen asleep, but then he answered, "Unsettled. Like I just stepped out of the matrix. Or like the Tardis, when she was one second out of sync, with the rest of the universe. I am her, bent around space-time, in a little pocket of interplanet…"

"Okay I got it. You miss him."

"I feel bent out of shape. Is that missing him?"

"It means you care. Caring is a good thing to feel."

"Why?"

"It shows you are growing."

"I have reached my full height potential."

"Not physical growing, emotionally growing and changing."

Sheldon paused again, "Changing?"

"Yes…"

"Into what?"

"Something better."

"…but I am no longer functioning at my optimum level," he said, his voice rising slightly in pitch.

"Well, how did you function before you meet Leonard?"

"I relied upon myself."

"You had inner strength?"

"Yes, I was sure of so many things."

"That strength is still in there, somewhere…"

Sheldon's face went pale. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. Breathing rapidly in small rasps, "Oh dear lord," he muttered.

"W-what?"

"I have changed!" he cried, bolting out of his seat and beginning to pace around the room.

Penny smiled, "Sheldon, relax. It's okay."

"It most certainly is not," he gasped.

"This association with Leonard has weakened my constitution. Broken me."

"No, that's not what I meant," she said.

"I am damaged!"

"Sheldon…"

"…emotions are emerging which offer no advantage but to incapacitate. These last six years, I have been hollowed out, Penny. Like an unwitting host, to an alien parasite."

"What do you mean by six years? I thought we were talking about Leonard going away for four months."

Sheldon swiveled around and dropped back down on the couch. "Oh, you are good," he said.

"I am?"

"Yes, you have alerted me to the fact I have been compromised," he said, his voice then dropped to a quieter tone as he turned to face her, "…just like you have been."

Hold on! What?

"Whatever happened to me, is similar to what happened to you."

"Happened to me. What the hell are you talking about, Sheldon?"

He brought his hand up to his face, in thought, "…it doesn't affect those others around us. They are thriving…"

"Sheldon, this has nothing to do with me."

"…Raj is no longer mute, Howard went to space and got married and Leonard's career is moving forward in leaps and bounds... but us…"

"Not us…you!"

"I am having difficulties in my work and can no longer function effectively without the assistance of others. And you, have lost your buoyant demeanor. We are victims of decay, we are…"

Penny's jaw dropped. "Sheldon cut it out!"

"But I'm just started to get somewhere."

"Who's the doctor!" she said.

"Well technically…"

She raised her eyebrows and gave him a warning glare.

"Very well," he said, smiling broadly, "but this first session has been invigorating." He stood up and smoothed down his dressing gown. "I must mull over my findings. I will call on you again soon," he said, hurrying towards the door and then softly closing it behind him.

Penny sat for a moment in silence. "Huh! what the hell just happened?" she muttered.


	5. Chapter 5

OMG this was a nightmare. Penny arrived at the photo shoot at 8am, as requested. It was already lunchtime and they had done nothing. There was a lot of arguing, some people shouting in what she assumed was German and others running around achieving very little.

"Wo ist der Assistent Produktion, Erna!" shouted the photographer, Gerhard.

"Why didn't he bring the right adaptors for the overheads?"

"Well, whose job was it then?"

Penny was further disappointed to discover she was not the only 'Peek-a-you' girl. There were two others. Tamara, a sultry looking Italian, who said very little and just sulked the entire time. She had been chosen to represent something called the 'Classic' range. Then there was Lena from New Jersey. She was pixie looking with short red hair, and she seemed to find everything extremely funny. She was going to be the 'Peek-a-you future girl' which left Penny with the 'Retro' range.

"This is bonkers," she giggled.

"Yup, it's certainly different," Penny agreed.

There was no dressing room to speak of. Just an area that was screened off. The makeup artist spent all morning fussing about, after turning up late. Her name was Silvia and she spent ages doing Tamara's make-up and raving on about how classically beautiful she was. Tamara wasn't impressed, she simply continued to sulk. The production assistant, became impatient and told Silvia to 'pick up the pace' so she didn't spend as much time on either Penny or Lena.

The Retro Range was exactly what Penny expected. Her hair was backcombed into a big 60s-style buffoon. The matching outfits consisted of tight silver playsuits with knee high boots. By the time she had her hair and makeup done, Penny felt like she was wearing fancy dress.

They finally started shooting stills and each girl was photographed separately, holding advertising boards and then sitting in front of various backdrops. It was 6pm by the time she got her turn and again they run out of time. Gerhard had a thick German accent, which she found a little difficult to understand, so she tried to follow his gestures. Luckily he gestured a lot so it wasn't too difficult. After her particularly short photoshoot, they started the group shots.

"Give me modern," shouted Gerhard.

The girls put on their best pouts and tried to pose as glamorously as they could.

"Nicht! Nicht!" he shouted, "you are modern girl, in modern world," he said, his hands waving wildly.

"Funny because I feel like a chicken in tin foil," whispered Lena.

Penny smiled.

"Nicht auf diese Weise!" he shouted.

Penny glanced from Lena to Tamara and saw that everyone looked as confused as she did. What does he want?

"You are super modernist," shouted Gerhard.

They all tried a different pose.

"Nicht!" he bellowed. This went on for ten more minutes, with Gerhard gesturing back and forward, changing the order of the girls several times shouting, "Nicht!" over and over.

Penny had just about had enough of this. She had tried every modern pose she could think of and the cheap boots were beginning to bite into her toes. She glanced over at the others. They looked like something that had just stepped out of an old Star Trek episode. "I wonder", she thought.

Flying into action, Penny began to strike every cheesy superhero pose, she had ever seen from the guys films.

"Ja, Ja, Ja!" he shouted, "you copy blonde!" he said, gesturing to the other girls.

Penny couldn't believe this was working but at least things were moving now.

Flash, flash, flash.

Lena was having a really hard time keeping a straight face. "No smiling!" he said.

Very soon the shoot was over and Erna, the production assistant handed around some test Polaroid's. Penny looked at the picture in her hand. It was so bad. How could they launch a competitive cosmetic range with that?

"My friends will disown me if they see this," Lena said, bursting into giggles.

Penny laughed. "Oddly enough some of mine will love it," she said.

Erna suddenly appeared behind the screen and said, "Tomorrow you wear same costume, you can all go home now."

"Okay great, I'll see you tomorrow girls," Penny said.

"For more, _super modernist_," Lena joked. Penny liked this girl, nothing seemed to dampen her spirit.

She walked out from behind the screens, just as two men in suits brushed past her abruptly and matched up to Gerhard. The three men began to speak in low tones and then rushed away.

"I wonder what that's all about," Lena said, appearing at her side.

"No idea," Penny said. She grabbed her bag and began to dig around inside for her shoes. Suddenly Erna reappeared, looking sheepish and said. "Please come back inside girls."

Penny followed her back behind the screens. "What is it?"

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this ladies, but I'm afraid the commercial has been cancelled. Don't worry, you will still be paid the agreed fee but we will no longer require your services over the next two days. Thank you so much for coming in and I'm sorry for the bad news."

"What should we do with the jumpsuit things?" Lena asked.

"Keep them."

Penny didn't even bother to change. She grabbed her coat and threw it on. Quickly exchanging numbers with Lena and saying her goodbyes, she made her way to her car. So that was it! The commercial wasn't even going to air. It was probably a blessing in disguise because it was going to be shockingly bad and would have done her career more harm, than good.

She drove back home in a daze, completely oblivious to how she must have looked to other drivers on the road. Her crazy makeup, backcombed hair and silver outfit must have attracted attention but she didn't care.

She was inside before she knew it, slumped down on the couch and that's when the tears came. What a complete waste of time. She knew it was just a stupid commercial but deep down she had hoped that finally… finally what? She felt the warm tears rolling down her face and she let them flow. She had so much hope once but the last six years had been blow after blow and she felt beaten. Sheldon was right. She was failing at everything.

Her laptop was in front of her, she opened it up and went straight to the inbox.

Leonard had mailed back.

"Hi Penny. I was pleased to get your reply so quickly! Things are getting very exciting here. We have started taking readings, finally. Dr Burkov and Gregson are amazing to work with. We have such fun. This research is the high point of my career. I'm so happy. Hope you are okay and your commercial went well. As for Sheldon, I suspect his telescope results are rival research to our hydrodynamics. Cooper jealousy, don't worry about him. Miss you loads and love you, Leonard."

She pressed reply.

"Hi Leonard. I had a terrible time at the commercial shoot today. It was a shambles and after a long tiring day, they cancelled it. I'm so upset. I don't even know why I feel like this…" she stopped.

Penny sat for a long time staring at the laptop until the screen went black. She couldn't tell him how she felt. She couldn't even explain it. It felt like everything in her life was over. And the tears kept flowing.

Then suddenly…

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

Wiping her hand quickly across her face, she fumbled for a hand mirror. "Who is it?" she called out, knowing full well, who it was. Well, at least the make-up hadn't run. She would need pickaxe to get this stuff off.

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

"Hold on," she said, checking her reflection one last time, standing up and opening the door. Sheldon stood for a moment completely aghast.

"What do you want Sheldon?"

He blinked and blinked again.

"Why...?"

"Why what?" she said. Obviously, he was totally confused by her attire but this was amusing and she needed cheering up, so she tried to kept her face as neutral as possible. Hoping that he couldn't tell that she had just been crying.

"Why are you…?"

"Why am I… what?"

"Dressed… like?"

"Like…?"

"Like Barbarella!"

"Like who?"

He paused. "Is this part of my therapy?" he said very quietly, as though they were sharing a secret.

"Sure, why not!" she said, having no idea what he meant.

"That's…" he said, shifting from one foot to the other, "…quite brilliant!"

"Yeah that's me, I'm brilliant," she said, flatly.

He gave a little smirk and then looked at her, curiously.

"So, what did you want Sheldon?"

"I wanted to remind you of our arrangement on Thursday."

"What arrangement?"

"Date night!"

"Ohhhh… yes, what time do you want me to come over?"

"Eleven."

"Okay."

Sheldon continued to stand in front of Penny without speaking.

"Was there something else?"

"Will you be dressed as Barbarella?"

"I might be," she said, narrowing her eyes.

He hesitated and then began to turn away, still transfixed.

"And... when is our next session? Or was this it? Or…"

Penny lowered her voice and said mysteriously, "I'll let you know."

He gasped. Then opened his door and disappeared inside.

"Well, that was fun," Penny thought, "That's the first time I've made Sheldon Cooper speechless."

She returned to the laptop and deleted the sad message she had begun. Taking out her phone, she took a picture of herself and sent that to Leonard instead, "Get a load of this," she wrote.


	6. Chapter 6

"Wow! That photo is incredible," Leonard texted back.

"I thought you might like it," she replied.

"It's hot! I gather it was for the eyelash commercial. How did it go?"

"Great, it's finished already."

"Cool, I can't wait to see it."

"They're such a small company. I don't know if we'll get see it."

"What a shame."

"I got to keep the outfit."

"That's the best news yet!"

She wasn't sure why she lied. One half of her didn't want to bring Leonard down and have him worry. He was having a wonderful time and she didn't want to spoil it by moaning about her troubles. The other half, didn't want to talk about it. It was just another big disappointment to add to the list and she didn't want him feeling sorry for her. She didn't want anyone too and decided this was the story she would stick too, for the time being anyway.

She phoned her boss and told him she was available to work, after all. He needed her Thursday because one of the girls was sick but he didn't need her on Friday. At least she could earn some extra cash, on top of the commercial fee, which wasn't much more than her cheesecake earnings anyway. So there was some good news. She got a text from Lena that evening, as she was finishing up at work. The bubbly wee thing had managed to get something else already. She also wanted to meet up sometime for coffee.

Penny got back late that evening but she hadn't missed her 11pm promise to Sheldon. She came up the stairs and knocked on his door. Amy answered. "Hello bestie."

"Hi Ames, how's things?"

"Super!" she said.

Sheldon came rushing up beside her. When he saw Penny's cheesecake factory uniform, he sighed, "That's not Barbarella!"

"Barba-who?" Amy asked.

Penny shrugged.

"The… y-you know!" he stuttered.

"I have no idea what he's on about," Penny said. She didn't want to discuss the commercial and was quite enjoying his discomfort. How would he explain this one?

He didn't, he simply frowned and looked a little fluttered.

"Shell we go," Amy asked, still standing with her hand on the door.

"Go?"

"Yes, Sheldon said you would drive me home."

"Oh, did he now?!" she said, shooting him a look.

"You didn't ask her?" Amy said, swinging around accusingly.

"Surely it was apparent when I…" he said.

Amy sighed and turned back to Penny, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm not working tomorrow I really don't mind."

"Thanks. Goodnight Sheldon."

"Goodnight Amy."

The two girls made there way to Penny's car. "So, how did date night go?" Penny said, as she clicked the seatbelt in place.

"It went very well. We had pizza and then catalogued deep-sea telescope data."

"Sounds… fun," she said.

"It was magic."

Penny started the car and pulled out.

"By the way, I want to thank you for talking Sheldon into resuming date nights." Amy said.

"That's okay, he just needed a little push."

"Well, I more than thrilled I can tell you. He's hopeful about further ideas you might have to help. So am I, to be honest," she beamed.

"Oh Amy, I'm making it up."

"It doesn't matter. If Sheldon believes you can do it, that may be enough," said Amy, gazing ahead with a contented expression on her face.

"So… this data you catalogued, it has something to do with the sea?"

"Yes."

"But I thought telescopes were space thingys?"

"Not these ones. They use them in the ocean."

"Do they indeed."

Leonard was correct, those files did have something to do with his research. So at least she had something else to bring up with Sheldon. She didn't mind helping these two out. They were so new at everything and she had to admit it gave her a sense of satisfaction to lend a hand.

* * *

The following day, she decided to use her new found knowledge to dig deeper into Sheldon's psyche. This would require confidence and a little acting. She dressed in a smart white shirt and black pencil skirt. Tonight she would be Audrey, hard-nosed detective, out to solve the case of The Phony Physicist. She straightened her skirt, took a breath to prepare and knocked on Sheldon's door.

"Hello Penny," he said.

"We met again, Cooper!" she said, firmly.

Sheldon frowned, "Of course we do. We invariable meet, as we live adjacent to one another. Additional, you have called upon me so…"

"Enough of the wise cracks! I just need to ask a few questions. This won't take long," she said, strolling in to the apartment and casing the joint.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes but you know that Leonard is…"

"So what schemes are you cooking up tonight, then?"

"I'm finishing up some work," he said.

"Anything of interest?"

"Nothing of interest to yourself, no."

"So all this…" she said, gesturing to the paperwork on his desk, "…is just work then?"

"It is, vital data collection for analysis."

She wandered over to the desk, casually picked up a file and began to flick through it, "Hmmm," she said, putting on her most intelligent expression.

"Oh please! don't pretend you know…."

Bang! Sheldon jumped, as the file slammed down hard on the desk. "You think you can fool me Cooper? This will never stand up to Hawkings' hydrodynamics," she shouted, hoping she had got the word right.

"I-I don't know what you're implying …"

"You know exactly what I'm implying!" she said, narrowing her eyes.

He glanced at the file and then back at the determined face in front of him, "The Antares neutrino detector is sound, outstanding in fact..." he huffed.

"Deep-sea telescopes, Sheldon? I don't think so!"

"I'll have you know, Antares has been collecting data since 2007. What the heavens, Hawking thinks he can achieve in a mere four months I'll never know..."

"So this _is_ about the North Sea experiments?" she bellowed.

"I didn't say that!"

"But it is?" she said, taking two steps towards him and lowering her tone, "Isn't it Sheldon?"

"How do you know all this?" he whimpered, dropping down on to his spot on the couch. "You're Penny the waitress. You don't know any of this."

"Talk to me Sheldon," she demanded, "tell me why are you collecting this data."

He looked down at his hands, and then said quietly, "My career..."

"Yes?"

"I let it go."

Penny forgot the commanding detective act in an instant. She moved closer and sat down next to him. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry."

"My research has been faltering for some time, Penny," he continued.

"Amy told me you were upset when Kripke…"

"It started way before Kripke, that was the inevitable result."

"So when did it start?"

"Shortly after Mr. D'Onofrio was comatose, when my life descended into chaos. I relaxed the grip on my regimental schedules at home but none of you suspected the knock on effect it would have to my work."

She felt silent and waited for him to continue, "I lost control of the rigorous thought processes I had always relied on. Where previously, I had little difficulty maintaining one point of convergence, myriad thoughts began to bleed thought my consciousness. I became distracted."

"Distracted by what?"

"Trivialities, parking spaces, soullessly selling myself for tenure. Something I would never have considered in the past. I always knew I deserved my position unquestionably but doubt crept in. I dropped the ball, Penny."

"Well… I dropped the ball too," she said.

"Oh Penny, you never had the ball," he said, shaking his head slowly.

"Okay, okay… I never had it, but it still hurts."

"I suppose it must," he agreed.

She nodded. "But we'll get through, Sheldon. Things will get better."

"Will they? It must be easy being you, Penny. Never questioning the certainty of an imaginary future written in the stars, even though logic would suggest that this is pure folly."

"You're wrong... it's not easy being me at all," she said, "But everyone needs hope, don't you have hope?"

"I have only rationale."

Penny sighed, "Well, it seems we both rely too much on one thing, then."

"Perhaps, but after our first session, I realized I had been autonomous once. I needed no one. No Leonard, no Amy… no…"

"No what?"

"No… you," he said, looking into her eyes.

She smiled. "You don't need _me_, Sheldon."

"It would appear that I do."

Penny didn't know what to say, she was surprised and a little moved by his frank admission. "I don't see how..." she flustered.

"In spite of my original resistance to you, we are friends."

"Yes we are," she said, placing her hand on his sleeve. He didn't move away. "We are good friends."

"Now, good friend," he said, "Why did you lie about Barbarella?"


	7. Chapter 7

Sheldon was standing now, his chest rising up and down in panicked breaths. As soon as he asked the question, Penny had exploded in to high-pitched wails and he could barely make out what she was saying. Something had been a disaster and her entire life was also a disaster.

"…_and_… and _I don't even know who that is_…" she cried, collapsing into sobs. "…then… then it was just… _canccccelled_…"

"Penny," he began, "I-I am not familiar with the correct protocol under these circumstances."

Ignoring him, she sobbed into her hands, "….you're right, nothing ever works out…

"That is factually incorrect, if you were to consider the law of probability as likened to large numbers. Unless the event itself is mutually exclusive, in which case..."

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!"

She continued to sob loudly and Sheldon started pacing back and forward like a tiger in a cage. Maybe tea, he thought, rushing to the kitchen and fumbling with the kettle switch. The tirade kept coming and he abandoned the task and returned to pacing.

"Penny, you must desist."

"I-I-I … _can't_."

"What do I do?" he asked, wringing his hands.

"I don't know…."

He paused for a moment and then an idea came to him, in a flash, "I have just the thing," he said, taking something down from the bookcase and presenting it with outstretched arms.

"What?" she asked, through blurry eyes.

"Star Trek."

Penny fell silent. She stared back at him in utter disbelief. Her make-up smudged face, damp with tears. "Star Trek!" she said, coldly.

"Well, yes."

"_That's_ your answer?"

"It is and I can tell it's already working."

"It's not working!" she snapped.

"But you're stopped crying."

She had stopped but that wasn't the point, "You put that on and I'll start again," she threatened.

His eyes widened and he slowly placed the box-set down on the table. "Alright," he said, too frightened to move, in case he triggered another avalanche of primitive emotion.

She let out a long sigh. "What a nightmare?" she said. Sheldon didn't dare ask what she was referring too; he simply sat down cautiously and waited for her to fill in the gaps.

"I don't know why I keep hoping I'll get a lucky break. I keep pretending that my lack of success is not affecting me but it is."

He nodded.

"What a waste of three days holiday."

The commercial. "I see," he said, making the connection at last. "So the costume…?"

"Was part of the shoot," she said, "I'm sorry I lied but you just looked so impressed."

"Hmm," he said in agreement.

"Why? What is Barbarella?" she said.

"It's an ill-conceived and atrociously executed, science fiction movie from 1968 and also the name of the main female protagonist."

"Oh."

"I'll finish making the beverages," he said, jumping out of his seat like a shot. He gliding into the kitchen and began to fuss around, with his back to her.

"Thanks. I could do with some tea now," she sniffed.

The release of emotion had completely exhausted her. She felt like she was in a daze and certainly didn't feel like crying anymore. It was all out. Rubbing the smudged make-up away from under her eyes, she slumped into the couch and thought about the commercial. Those silver outfits did look like something from a B-movie. She never dreamed that watching that stuff with the guys would pay off one day.

"On the day of the shoot, I just thought about Star Trek and superheroes," she said, to Sheldon's back.

"Hmm," he said.

"I really didn't know who Barbarella was.

"Hmm."

"Funnily enough, the photographer thought I did a great job. He kept saying "Ja, you copy blonde," to the other girls." She managed a little smile.

No reply.

"Not that it matters now. It was canned before it was even shot. Why would they pick the B-movie look anyway? Especially a _ill-conceived_ B-movie."

Still nothing. He must be done with the tea by now. He's very quiet, she thought.

"Sheldon?"

He spun round and returned to the table with two mugs.

"Thanks," she said, taking one.

She watched him for a few seconds. He raised the mug to his lips and blew at little air over the surface of the liquid. After attempting to take a little sip but finding it was still too hot, he sat staring into the mug instead. What's up with him? He seemed even stranger than usual. It had to have something to do with that movie.

"So, if Barbarella is so awful, why were you impressed by the costume?"

"I-I wasn't."

"Yes you were, you said, 'That's brilliant!'"

"Did I?" He went to take another sip from his mug but pulled away from the heat.

"Yes, you like that movie and I want to know why." Sheldon looked up. His eyes were clear and almost angelic. Penny felt as though she was on the verge of a discovery. She knew he had layers, deep, confusing and often frustrating layers but there was something about this movie that was significant and important. She could feel it.

"You can't tell anyone," he said.

"I won't, I promise." she said. This was getting interesting, Sheldon had never asked her, to keep a secret before.

"Barbarella is an idol of mine."

"Let me guess," said Penny, "she's a robot?"

"No."

"A Vulcan?"

"No."

"She has super powers?"

"No."

"She has bolts of lightening that come out of her eyeballs. Like this!" Penny gestured towards the ceiling.

"No."

"She's… blue?" she said.

He shook his head and gave her once of his looks. It couldn't be the sexy outfit. Sheldon just didn't have that kind of mind. Did he? "What then?" she asked.

"Barbarella was human. She came from earth in the distant future. A future where human beings no longer engaged in war, destruction or physical coitus."

"Ohhh! No sex!"

"I didn't say that. They only engaged in coitus when their psycho cardiogram readings were in perfect compliment. Then coitus itself consisted of taking a exultation transference pellet and holding their palms together," he said, raising his hand up towards her, then quickly dropping it.

"Pills and palm touching?"

"Yes, actual coitus was proven to be distracting and a danger to maximum efficiency."

Penny laughed. "I should have known," she said, picking up her tea and talking a sip. "So when did you first see this film?"

"When I was seven."

"Seven?"

"Yes, my father had a copy hidden in his car and normally I would never have any interest in anything he watched but the cover fascinated me. There she was, standing on an alien planet with 'Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy' above her. Something compelled me to hide it in my rucksack."

Penny wondered to herself. Did this film hold the key to Sheldon's unusual attitude towards human relationships? He was only seven when he saw it. Was this where is strange ideas had come from?

"Did you get found out?"

"No, I suspect my father thought my mother had disposed of it and never brought it up. I still have it."

"Well, it explains a lot. Maybe you can get Amy to do that palm touching thing sometime," she said, mockingly.

"Without the exultation transference pellets it would probably be ineffective but if you think it will help, with my issues?"

Penny smiled. "It's worth a shot," she said.

Sheldon stared back at his mug. Noticing that he hadn't drunk any of it, she was about to comment, when there was a knock at the door.

"Sheldon!" it was Howard's voice.

He got up to open it and Howard rushed straight past him, "Thank goodness you're here," he said to Penny.

"Hi Howard. What's up?"

"It's Raj, he's gone all Bridget Jones again."

"Why, what's happened?" Penny asked.

"Well, he wanted to go out, to try his new talking skills on the ladies. So, we went to a bar."

"Okay."

"It didn't go too well."

"Oh no! How bad is it?"

"Well, let's just say he got kicked out of the bar and now he's locked himself in the bathroom of another bar and won't come out."

"So you came to get me?"

"No, I called Bernadette and she tried. Then she called Amy and she tried. And now, I've come to get you."

"Right, let's get this sorted out," said Penny, standing up and placing down her mug. She turned towards Sheldon, who was still standing by the door, looking bewildered. "Thanks for the tea and for cheering me up. I will pop by again soon," she said. And then they both left.

Sheldon closed the door behind them. "Penny to the rescue," he said.


	8. Chapter 8

When Penny got to the bar, Raj was still locked in the Gents bathroom. Bernadette and Amy had given up trying to coax him out and were on their second glass of wine.

"Penny, have a drink with us," Amy said.

"Maybe later, I'm going to take a shot at getting Raj out of there."

"Good luck with that," said Bernadette, "we've tried everything."

"Yes, all he does is snivel," said Amy, her cheeks uncharacteristically flushed, "On the plus side, I got to spend time in the gentleman's bathroom. That's a new experience and surprisingly fun."

Penny smiled. "So what happened?" she asked.

"From what I understand, he started talking to some girls and he thought it was going well but then one of them said some nasty things, to his face. After that, he was a weeping mess and had to be escorted out of the bar," said Bernadette.

Penny smiled. "Oh, well I'll see what I can do," she said, "wish me luck."

Howard was waiting outside the entrance. "There's no one else in there right now," he said. "but I'll give you a heads up if anyone comes."

"Thanks."

She made her way inside. It was empty, just as Howard had said, except for one closed cubicle.

"Raj, it's Penny," she called out, to the closed door.

No answer.

"Raj?"

She could here a whimper, "Go away."

"Oh Raj sweetie, you can't stay in there all night."

"I can."

"I know those girls were cruel but you can't let them get to you like this."

"You don't understand. You've never had a problem like mine."

"I know but that doesn't mean, I haven't made plenty of mistakes."

"How many?"

"What?"

"How many mistakes exactly?"

"I'm not answering that but a lot more than you," she said.

"But I cried in front of everyone," he said, "It's so humiliating."

"Well… just half an hour ago I was crying my eyes out, in front of Sheldon Cooper."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"You've just saying that, to make me feel better."

"I'm not, it's true. He asked me something and I went into a complete meltdown."

"How did he take that?"

"He almost had a seizure."

She heard a little laugh.

"But he helped."

"You're kidding?"

"No, he really did."

"What were you crying about?"

"Well, that's kind of a secret."

"I can keep a secret," said Raj, hopefully.

Penny thought for a moment and then said, "Okay, if I tell you, you have to come out."

She waited for his reply, "Alright."

"I lied about the commercial. It was never shot. They cancelled it after the first few stills."

"But why did you lie?"

"I just didn't want to talk about what a rotten experience the whole thing was."

"I get that."

"You do?"

"Yes. I really miss Leonard, we all do. You must miss him more than any of us."

"I lied to Leonard too."

"Nooooo!"

"I didn't want to tell him about my problems. He's working so hard and he doesn't need to hear all that."

"So you told Sheldon?"

"I didn't mean too, but I suppose he is a friend after all. You won't tell anyone about the commercial, will you? I don't want Leonard to find out until he gets back."

There was a pause and the door unlocked. Raj stepped out, his eyes were red and swollen. "I won't tell anyone." he said, "and I'm sorry to be so much trouble."

Penny stepped forward and hugged him. "Don't be silly, you're no trouble. We are friends. Leonard being away, doesn't change that."

* * *

When she got home, she checked her emails again. It had been almost a week since Leonard's last message and he had finally replied.

He explained how busy they were and said he was sorry he hadn't replied sooner. The work was "fantastic and the days went by so quickly because Gregson was such a professional and Burkov was hilariously funny."

He said they made the laborious task of data collection, "a real joy" and that "Burkov was absolutely brilliant and would give Sheldon, a run for his money intellectually."

She replied right away, telling him about Raj locking himself in the bathroom and that she had been paid a little for the commercial. Although money was tight, she was doing okay. "I miss you loads," she wrote, then signed off and got ready for bed.

As she lay there staring at the ceiling, she realized she didn't miss Leonard quite as much as before. She had started to get used to him not being there. The first two weeks had been painfully lonely. So this was a good thing, she decided.

* * *

They had worked out a rota for driving Sheldon around, while Leonard was away. It didn't seem fair that one person did everything, so Raj drew up a graph he called the 'Sheldor Shuttle'. Next week was Penny's turn. She wouldn't normally be looking forward to this but she was so low on gas, she had to take the bus to meet Lena for coffee that day. Next week, Sheldon would pay her petrol bill. That was the deal.

"I'm a little short this week," Penny explained, when Lena asked why she took the bus. "The pay for the commercial didn't go far."

"Well, there's plenty of commercial work out there, if you're willing to do it," Lena said.

"There is?"

"Sure."

"Well, I'm willing to wear a paper bag over my head, if they pay me!" she said, "I really want to be an actress but it's so hard getting anything."

"Don't we all, but the commercials pay the bills, right?"

"Well," Penny said, "it's more, the waitressing pays the bills for me! What are you doing right now?"

"I can't tell you because I signed a confidentiality agreement. All I can say is it's a broadband client."

"A confidentiality agreement? Sheldon would approve," she chuckled.

"Who?"

"Oh, just my boyfriend's roommate."

"Sheldon? What sort of name is that?" Lena smirked.

After lunch, Lena offered to drive Penny back to the apartment. They were saying their goodbyes when Sheldon arrived back, carrying a bag from the comic book store.

"Hello Penny."

"Hi Sheldon, been to see Stuart I see?"

"Yes, Raj drove me. He was way too chatty," he said, shaking his head in dismay.

"Oh, he's feeling better then?"

"Evidently!" he said, "Don't forget you're next in line for the Sheldor Shuttle," he said.

"Don't worry, I haven't."

He smiled politely and made his way up the stairs.

"Who's that?" Lena asked.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry. That was Sheldon."

"That's Sheldon?" she said.

"Yes why?"

"He's cute."

"Huh!" she said, staring up the empty staircase.

"You don't think so?"

"Urm well I-I don't know, I just think of him as… Sheldon!"

"Is he seeing anyone?"

"I-I…. yes he is," said Penny, finding herself lost for words.

"Damn! That is a shame."

She smiled but felt strangely uneasy, all of a sudden. The girls said their goodbyes and Penny was about to mount the stairs when her phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hello Penny, this is Erna from 'Peek-a-you'."

"Hi Erna. This is a surprise."

"Yes, well I have some news. I know you were told on the day of the photo shoot, that the commercial was cancelled but that was not the full story."

"Oh really?" Penny said.

"The truth is, Peek-a-you was taken over by a major American cosmetics company. We suspended the shoot immediately, while they negotiated the merger, which took a few weeks. Now, the product is going to be re-launched as a sub-brand."

"Oh wow!"

"So…" Erna said, "We were wondering if you would be interesting in being involved in the re-shoot."

"You want us girls back?"

"No, not all the girls. Just you. Gerhard raved about you. He said you were the only one who could take direction and understood the product."

"Oh, I just thought superhero, with a touch of Barbarella," she didn't know why she had said that!

"Exactly! So what do you say? Are you interested?"

Penny was jumping up and down on the spot now. "Oh my god yes! thank you so much."

"Fabulous, I will email you all the details right away."

Erna carried on talking about signing a new contract and how they could offer her a comprehensive rate but Penny was so stunned she wasn't taking any of it in. When the call ended, she leapt up the stairs and began banging on Sheldon's door until he opened it.

"Why in heavens name, are you banging so loudly? I was just…" She threw her arms around his neck before he had a chance to protest. "Sheldon, something amazing happened." Squeezing him tightly, she spun him around and around. "I got a break!" she squealed.

When she him go, she threw herself down on the couch and sat there with a huge grin on her face. Sheldon continued to stand where she had left him, his face pale and startled.

"The commercial is back on!"

"Y-you grabbed me," he said, his voice a little shaky.

"Sheldon! It's a proper job!" she said, smiling from ear to ear.

He shifted his feet and seemed to regain his composure, "Well…. congratulations but that does not mean you are permitted to…"

"I need to watch that movie."

"What movie?"

"Barbarella of course. Let's watch it together," she said happily.

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"I-I'm ….busy."

Penny looked around the room. He didn't look as if he had been busy. It looked as if he had been making toast. "Can I borrow it then?"

"I-I don't have it," he said, his eyes beginning to dart around the room.

"Sheldon, I know when you're lying. Besides, you told me you still have the copy that belonged to your father and I need to watch that film. I told Erna I knew it and if she asks me something, or references something for the shoot, I don't want to look stupid."

He looked at his feet, "I don't know where it is…" he said, he left cheek twitching wildly.

"Fine, it you don't want to lend it to me. I'll download it," she said calmly, dragging herself upright and heading back to her apartment.

When she got inside, she opened her laptop and switched it on. Sheldon's copy of the movie had belonged to his father, who had died a few years back. Maybe he didn't want anyone touching it. She didn't want to push him any further if that was the reason, he was being so annoyingly stubborn.

No connection. He's just changed the wi-fi password!

Penny let out a long sigh. This has nothing to do with his father. He just doesn't want her to see it. Which made her even more intrigued. So far she had worked out why he didn't want Amy visiting, after Leonard went away. Why he was doing all that telescope research but this was something else. This went much deeper and Sheldon wasn't ready for her to know.


	9. Chapter 9

Penny opened her door, "Hi Raj," she said.

"Hi Penny. I can't stay, Howard's waiting in the car. We're going to his mothers' house for brisket. You're welcome to join us."

"Urm, no thanks. I brought something home from the Cheesecake Factory," she said, relieved that those stale leftovers, gave her an excuse.

"Damn, I was hoping for an extra belly to fill. Mrs Wolowitz cooks for an army and I've already put on two pounds this week," he said, patting his tummy.

"Sorry, but I'm good."

Raj reached in to his bag, "Here you go," he said, handing Penny a DVD.

"Thanks."

"If you like that sort of thing, I have loads of others from that era. 'The Wasp Woman', 'Queen of Blood' and of course, 'Women of the Prehistoric Planet'."

She laughed, "No, I think Barbarella will do," she said.

"I have to say, I was surprised when I got your text. It's not your usual movie choice."

"No it's not. But I was told the costume I had to wear for the commercial shoot made me look like her, so I thought I'd check it out."

"Ohhhh yes, I can see that," he said, squinting his eyes.

"You can?"

"Yes, you _are_ Barbarella," he said, dramatically. "I bet Leonard will love that that look on you!"

"Hmm, he did," Penny said hesitantly, looking at the scantily clad blonde female, on the cover.

"Speaking of Leonard, have you heard from our intrepid researcher?"

"Yes, he's loving the work. He's very happy and seems to have made friends, called Gregson and Burkov. Probably Doctors."

"Ah yes, I've heard of Burkov's work. It's outstanding."

"Well, don't bring up the name in front of Sheldon. I hear he's a real super brain and Sheldon won't want to heard that Leonard is working with him," she said, teasingly.

"Her."

"Huh?"

"Burkov, is a she."

"Oh yes, right," she said, pretending this wasn't news.

"Are you sure I can't tempt you to come with us?" Raj said, but Penny's mind was already racing.

"What? …no, completely sure," she said.

Raj said good night and hurried down the stairs, leaving Penny standing by the open door. She clean forgot about the film, placing it down on the coffee table and reaching for her laptop instead. Opening every email she had received from Leonard, she scoured through them for mentions of Burkov. The name had come up regularly, but there had never been a mention of gender. By the time she had read and re-read every message, she was sure Leonard had cleverly avoided mentioning it. This didn't mean anything in itself, she told herself but the other words he used to describe Burkov gave her a feeling of unease.

Hilarious. Brilliant. A joy.

Penny sat in front of her laptop with the messages open for some time. Leonard had never used words like this to describe her. She tried to remember any kind words he had used and couldn't think of any. After a long time passed, she stood up. She needed to get out of the apartment and talk to someone outside the group. Gathering up her bag and cardigan, she made her way to the door but on opening it, found herself face to face with Sheldon. They were both equally surprised to see each other.

"Oh hello," she said.

"Penny…I," he started, then he straightened himself up and said, "I would like to say… after further consideration, I may have acted hastily. Not that I was at fault, of course but I did request your assistance and… are you listening, Penny?"

"Not now Sheldon," she said, digging around in her bag, for her phone.

"I should like you to continue your therapeutics. Although I prefer we refrain from called them sessions. I don't require therapy, I simply require your unique blend of…"

"Sure, how about the weekend?"

"Yes that is suitable. Also, I would appreciate your cooperation tomorrow. It's date night…"

"Do you have any money?"

"Money?"

"I know you are due to pay my petrol costs next week but would you mind advancing me the cash now?"

"Not at all," he said and immediately turned and disappeared inside the apartment, returning with a several notes in his hand, "Here you are."

"That's a lot, Sheldon."

He ignored her and continued, "As I was saying, date night…"

Penny was already heading for the stairs. "I'll be there," she said, as she ran down the first flight.

"At eleven," he called out.

"Sure."

He stood awkwardly, at the top of the stairs as he heard the building door shut. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Making his way back inside the apartment, he quickly hurried to the comfort and familiarity of his favorite spot. Hoping that by doing so, his equilibrium would return to normal. The night before he had been unable to achieve REM sleep and deduced he was experiencing guilt over the deception. He had hoped to rectify this but she seemed distracted.

"Perhaps she is having one of her inexplicable flighty turns," he decided. It would be wasteful trying to fathom this further; her thought processes were wildly unusual.

He glanced down at the table. A VHS sat on the table in front of him.

Barbarella. His one and only. He had waited for her and when he no longer believed she would come for him, he'd put her out of his mind. There was only science now.

He smiled but he did not feel at ease. Normally she was a comfort to him, her power, her uniquely naive problem solving skills. But recently, he had realized his blonde neighbor of many years, also processed these skills. He had believed Penny's physical resemblance to Barbarella was pure consequence, which he naturally disregarded. This discovery was more than a little perplexing.

Could this be his Barbarella? The woman who had pair bonded with his roommate and best friend. He frowned. This posed somewhat of a dilemma. He did not like dilemmas and decided this must be rectified. He would have to find out for sure.

* * *

An hour later, Penny was sitting at a bar with Lena.

"So, what's the deal with the sudden insistence on meeting for a drink then? Not that I'm complaining. I never need much of an excuse," said Lena, pouring Penny's wine.

"I just wanted to get out of the apartment."

"And?" Lena prompted, with a gentle smile.

"I don't know, I heard something that made me..."

"Something about a guy, right?"

"How did you know?"

"It's always the same, it's either money, family or a guy. You had that 'it's a guy' look."

Penny laughed. "Well, you're right. Leonard, my boyfriend, is away on a boat doing research. He's like this super genius type."

"I thought that was Sheldon."

"Oh, he is too, _everybody_ is!" she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, he's gone away searching magnetic forces or something and he's been emailing me the whole time about an amazing person, he's working with. I found out tonight, this _person_ is a woman."

Lena moved in to study Penny's face closely, "And you don't trust him?"

"No, I do."

"It doesn't sound like it."

"It's just weird, how he avoided telling me."

"Maybe he though you'd act all crazy," Lena said, raising her eyebrow in jest.

"I have been known too," she shrugged.

"Well, there you go then."

Penny sighed, "Hmm, when Sheldon's assistant was after Leonard for a while, I did get a bit crazy over that. So I guess you're right."

"No more getting crazy?" said Lena, raising her glass.

They clinked their glasses together.

"The thing is," Lena said, "I thought you were more interested in the other one."

"What? Sheldon?"

"Yeah, you mention him all the time."

"I don't, do I?"

"When we met for coffee last week you hardly mentioned the other one. I didn't even know his name until now."

Penny took a large gulp of wine. She had been completely unaware that she's spoken about Sheldon the whole time. "Oh! Well at any rate, Sheldon is strange and an impossibility."

"Why?"

"He's got all these phobias and he doesn't like touching."

"I thought you said he had a girlfriend."

"He does but they don't touch."

"Not at all?" Lena gasped.

"Barely."

"Sounds like he's got the wrong girlfriend," she laughed.

"It's not that simple."

"When it's the right person, it's that simple."

"Well, Sheldon's the exception to the rule."

Lena looked closely into Penny's green eyes. "Yeah well, you came here to tell me Leonard might be interested in some genius he's working with and now we're talking about Sheldon, again."

Penny shook her head, "That doesn't mean anything."

"Doesn't it? How would you feel if it were true?"

"If what were true?"

"If Leonard was interested in his colleague?"

Penny didn't answer right away. She'd been through this before and not that long ago. What was really worrying her, was she felt a lot calmer this time. "I really don't know," she said.

"Well, don't jump the gun, make sure you have your facts right."

She nodded although she wasn't exactly sure, how she was going to go about that.

* * *

Later that evening, when she got back to the apartment, she sat thinking about Leonard and how she could find out more about Burkov. There was a numb feeling all over her, which she put down to shock. It would probably hit her soon and then the emotions would take over.

She sighed and picked up the DVD case once more. It was too late to watch the film tonight. The woman on the cover, looked like a comic book character. "Well, that makes sense," she said aloud. She also looked extremely sexy. That didn't! Penny decided to watch the film before she interrupted date night, tomorrow. "Then I will have something new to help Sheldon with." This is what she told herself. But the truth was, the thought of uncovering the unknown about Sheldon after all these years, was a little thrilling.


	10. Chapter 10

"A little snooping wouldn't hurt," Penny thought, as she typed the words 'Burkov' and 'hydrodynamics' into her computer.

Nothing.

It was Thursday night and she had just got back from work. There was plenty of time to drop a few emails and watch Sheldon's dumb film before going over to knock at 4a, as promised. She wondered what Sheldon would do, if she deliberately waited an extra 5 minutes. Smirking to herself at the thought, she finished her email to Leonard.

"It's always good to have a funny man around like Burkov. What work does he do?"

The trap was set. Leonard would have to correct Penny's deliberate gender mistake or ignore her question altogether. She decided an overreaction was unnecessary. She had been wrong before, so she would approach the topic cautiously this time.

As she pushed the send button, she noticed a new email arrive. It was from Erna marked 'Urgent'.

"Hi Penny,

Marvellous to have you onboard! I have spoken to the crew and filming was due to go ahead in two weeks time but there has been a last minute cancellation this weekend. I know it's short notice but please email me back right away if you are free and we will push this forward. The contract is attached and I will need you to complete this and drop it off to me tomorrow evening.

Look forward to hearing from you,

Erna."

This was just perfect. Penny was due this weekend off, so she wouldn't even have to take any more time off work this time. She replied right away.

Flopping down on the couch, she felt just wonderful. Tomorrow she would go and meet Erna with the signed contract. This was the start of something, a new chapter in her life. She could feel it.

Pouring herself a large glass of wine, she decided to make popcorn instead of cooking tonight. A lazy evening at home, was what she needed now.

"I bet this it awful," she said, picking up the DVD and loading the disc. Little did she know, she was about to get the shock of her life.

* * *

Meanwhile over at 4a it was date night.

"I have some fascinating brain mapping data for us to peruse and a word teaser, which I think you'll find utterly exhilarating," Amy said.

"Sounds delightful."

Amy took out several clipboards from her satchel and began to arrange them on the coffee table.

"I also have something planned," he said.

"Oh, what's that?"

"An experiment I would like to conduct, something Penny suggested."

Amy dropped the clipboards with a clunk. "Oh my god!" she gushed.

Sheldon gave her a stiff smile and set down two mugs, "I am making beverages. Which tea would you prefer?"

"Passion fruit," she said, flashing him a hopeful look.

He simply nodded and poured the water. "Here you go," he said, setting down a cup in front of Amy.

"Thank you."

"Now, lets have a look at that data," he said, sitting down next to her.

"Oh forget about that! I want to try Penny's suggestion first," she said pushing the clipboards aside so quickly, one cluttered to the floor.

"Very well," he said, his eyes cast downwards towards the erred clipboard. Amy bent down and returned it to the table.

"If you would indulge me and sanitize your hands," he said, gesturing towards a bottle on the table.

She quickly obliged and waited in anticipation.

"Good," he said, "Now, hold up your hand, facing me."

"Like this?" she asked, her flat palm facing his direction.

"Yes, that's right."

Sheldon took a deep breath and exhaled. Then he very slowly placed his palm against hers.

Amy smiled, "Oh Sheldon, you are initiating a touch!"

He didn't reply but instead simply sat facing her, as if he were concentrating very hard.

"Hmmm," he sighed, pulling his hand away, "I was afraid of this."

Amy frowned, "What does that mean?"

"The exultation was unsuccessful."

"Oh really! Sheldon," she huffed and crossed her arms.

"Our psycho cardiogram readings must not be in congruence."

Amy jumped out of her seat. "Sheldon, that makes no sense," she said, "and I'm getting tired of this. I want to see you more. Do you hear me?

"But I-I…"

"No buts! There's no reason why we can't see each other, as much as I did before Leonard went away. I'm going to go now but I want things back to how they were before!" she said defiantly. Then standing upright to leave, "Good night Sheldon," she said, stalking towards the door and closing it behind her.

As she stood in the hall, she felt a rush of adrenaline pass through her, "Did I really do that?" she thought. She approached Penny's door and knocked. She was greeted by a rather bewildered looking, Penny.

"Amy! ….oh….hi!"

"Hello Penny," she said, "I'm sorry, were you taking a nap?"

"No…I was…"

"Could you please take me home, now?"

"But it's not eleven," this was all Penny could say.

"I know but I want to go."

She hesitated and then grabbed her keys, "Of course I will."

They were halfway to Amy's apartment before Penny realized they hadn't said another word to each other. She quickly shook herself back to reality. "You okay, Amy?"

"Not really."

"Did you have a fight?"

"No."

"What did he do?"

"He said he wanted to try a suggestion of yours."

"Of mine?" Penny said, her mind going completely blank.

"Well, he said it one of yours but maybe he got it all wrong. He held his palm against mine."

Penny swallowed hard and felt a little giddy.

Barbarella had sex this way once. It was pretty ludicrous really. Two people held their palms together and took some pill, that put them into a trance-like state. They sat there with a blank expression and twitched and this was supposed to be a sexual experience, somehow.

So he had tried this with Amy. A mixture of emotion flooded over Penny, which she couldn't make sense of. "That's a big step for him, you know."

"I guess," Amy said sadly, "And he initiated it so I should be happy about that, But then he said it was unsuccessful and I got angry. It feels like we are getting further apart. I told him I want things to change and then I left."

"Good for you." Penny smiled sympathetically, she really didn't know what else to say.

After she dropped Amy off, she sat in the car in a state of shock. She could barely remember the journey or what Amy had just said.

It was that movie. It was running over and over in her mind and nothing made any sense. Not anymore.

Of course it was a terrible film. She could barely follow the storyline. The special effects were worse than early Star Trek. Which explained his obsession for science fiction. But that was about all it explained, Barbarella was nothing like Penny expected and nothing like Sheldon had suggested. Yes, in her time people didn't engage in coitus but he conveniently failed to mention that Barbarella travelled to another planet and had sex with everyone!

Hell! Was this Sheldon's deal?

And why hadn't she mentioned the possibility to Amy?

Penny rubbed her hands over her face. She had to watch it again and this time she would pay closer attention. The Sheldon she knew and this movie did not sit comfortably together. "I'm out of my depth on this," she thought. "I'm going to need some help."


	11. Chapter 11

Date night had ended so prematurely, it was only 8.30pm when Penny got back to the apartment. She had things on her mind and it wasn't too late to make a quick call. She reached for the telephone and dialed.

A stern female voice, answered. "Hofstadter's residence!"

"Hello, Mrs Hofstadter, this is Penny."

"Penny? …Penny who?"

"I'm dating your son!"

"Oh! ….The waitress."

"Yes, the waitress," she replied, through tight lips.

"Why in heavens name are you calling me?"

"Well, I wouldn't bother you so late, except I need your professional opinion on something."

"Very well, if you make it quick," came her grunted reply.

"Thanks. Well, I have this friend, who has always claimed he has no interest in... ," she stopped dead when she realized, she was about to reveal Sheldon's secret. A secret he had asked her to "Tell no one." Mrs Hofstadter would know instantly, whom she was talking about.

"Has no interest in what, Penny? I don't have all night!"

Why hadn't she thought this through, before she picked up the phone? Her eyes flicked around the room, spotting her work uniform on top of the laundry basket. "Cheesecake," she grimaced, as soon as the words came out.

"You called me, at this time of night because your friend won't eat cheesecake?" came the bored reply.

"No, not exactly. My friend claims he won't eat cheesecake but I caught him making one." Penny screwed up her eyes. Mrs Hofstadter is going to see through this flimsy story, any minute now. She waited to be yelled at.

"My dear, as you well know, my son is lactose intolerant. Encouraging him to consume dairy of any kind is ill-considered."

"No, I'm not talking about Leonard."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, besides Leonard is away."

"Is he really?"

"Yes, he's on a boat in the North Sea."

"Well, I'm sure he has good reason."

Penny shook her head in disbelief, she doesn't even know! "This is about Sheldon," she snapped.

"Oh I see, well that's different."

She thought it might be.

"Hmmm, well let's see… Sheldon has a confident and dauntless nature. Why on earth would he conceal something like the love of cheesecake?"

"Um yes… why would he conceal anything?"

"I require more information, dear. What else do you know?"

"Urm…." she said, "…his father also made secret cheesecakes."

"Well there it is, plain as day!"

"Huh?"

"My dear girl, Sheldon is an accident of birth, from very primitive lineage. He prides himself on being nothing like his parents. One can hardly blame him, with such commonplace descendants as his."

"So it's simple denial, then?"

"Denial, shame, fear of the ordinary infecting his genius, via faulty DNA. Could be a combination of them all."

"Oh god, poor Sheldon!"

"Now now, secret cheesecakes are hardly worth getting worked up about."

"I know, I-I'm just looking out for him."

"Why?"

"Well, you know what he's like."

"Do I?… why don't you tell me, what he's like."

"H-he's…well… he needs help sometimes."

"You seem overly concerned about your boyfriends flatmate."

"I worry about him because he's so… different."

"How interesting." She could almost hear Mrs Hofstadter's brain ticking over and began to feel a little uncomfortable.

"So," she said, quickly, "do you have any suggestions for me?"

"Certainly, encourage his interest and remind him that any appreciation he might have, could never be as pedestrian as his fathers. Sheldon is quite remarkable."

She hung up.

Charming!

* * *

The next day at work, Penny grew more and more excited as the day went by. Every table she served, she dreamed that someday soon, she would serve her last. Her tips were brilliant; it must have been the broad smile she wore all day, and the way she bounced from one customer to the next. The usual dragging feeling she carried around, was nowhere in sight. She couldn't wait to see Erna and sign that contract.

Oh god, the contract!

Penny didn't own a printer and in her excitement, had forgotten to get it printed in advance for the meeting tonight. She couldn't count of them bringing extra copies. There was only one thing she could do. She forwarded the email from Erna to Sheldon, with a message that read:

"Sheldon, I need to sign this tonight at 9pm at a coffee shop. Please please, could you print it for me? Let me know if you can do it. I'm desperate. Thanks. Px"

* * *

Later that evening, after driving home as fast as she could get away with, she raced up the stairs and pocked her head around the door of 4a, "Sheldon, do you have it?!"

He was sitting in his spot, with a pen pressed to his lips and a slack of pages in front of him. He didn't look up, "I have," he replied. Then holding a single page in her direction, he said, "You may fill in the personal information page. I'm just perusing the rest."

"Oh!" she said, slowly taking the page and sitting down.

Sheldon continued to read down each page, in deep concentration. She studied him closely, watching his eyes darting back and forward across the page, his delicate features. Hell, Lena was right, he was kind of cute.

"Personal contact?" he announced, looking up to meet her gaze.

"W-what!?" she blushed.

"It asks for your personal and/or professional contact."

"O-hh…," she stuttered, "that would be my agent but since she didn't get me this job, I'm not putting her name down just to pay her 15% for nothing."

"Rightly so," he said, bringing the pen down towards the page. "Dr. Sheldon Cooper" he said, as he wrote his name.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Penny gasped.

"Adding my name," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"But why?"

"I assume you require me you act as Personal Contact."

"Oh, do you?!"

"Well, I do not require the 15% but I am the only one of our friends who knows about this. Am I not?"

"Raj knows as well."

"Raj!" he whined. "Why does Raj know?"

"Urm, that's not important," she said, changing the subject, "Why you?"

"I am the best candidate, of course."

"For what?"

"To be your consultant, to assist, to observe."

"Observe?"

"As an independent adviser."

"Sheldon, you don't know anything about cosmetics, or commercials!"

"But I know more about Barbarella than anyone and filming commences at 9am tomorrow. Which means my selfish actions have prevented you from studying the movie in preparation."

"But…"

"No Penny, I must insist," he said.

She stared back at those clear blue eyes and couldn't tell him, that she had seen the film already. Deep down it was comforting to have someone to go along, to consult, assist and observe. It did appear far more professional. "Okay," she said.

"Well then," he said, gathering up the contract and standing upright. "We must be going then."

"We?"

"Yes, keep up Penny. The contract must be signed tonight prior to the commencement of the assignment," he said, looking at his watch and striding towards the door.

"Hold on one minute, Mister…!"

There was no way she was taking Sheldon to the signing! He would cause trouble, she just knew it! She was about to tell him, he had to stay behind, when she saw the hopeful look on his face. She just couldn't do it!

Oh crap!

"Come on then," she said.

* * *

Penny parked the car outside the Zona Rosa Caffe and she instantly saw Erna at a table in the window. She was seated with a very smart looking man in a grey suit and slightly greying hair.

"Penny," she called out, "Lovely to see you. I'd like to introduce Frasier Arkin, he will be representing the client."

"Lovely to meet you," Penny said, extending her hand. "This is Sheldon Cooper, he is…"

"Representing Penny," Sheldon said. Frasier looked down at Sheldon's Batman t-shirt with a vaguely bemused expression. He extended his hand but Sheldon simply flinched. "Please take a seat," he said, gesturing to the chair beside him.

Penny sat down next to Erna but Sheldon just stood there, looking extremely tense. "Sit!" Penny whispered, thought gritted teeth. He promptly obeyed, dropping himself in to the empty chair and placing Penny's contract awkwardly, in front of him.

Erna smiled, "What would you like a drink?" she gestured to the waiter.

"Coffee please," Penny said.

"Anything for you, Sheldon?" Erna asked.

"Well, as I have never frequented this establishment, I can not…"

"Nothing for him," Penny said.

"First of all, I would like to welcome you to this project, Penny," Frasier said, "I hope you will enjoy yourself. If you have any questions about what will be required on the day, or the contract itself, we can discuss them now." He patted a copy of the contract, which sat on the table in front of him.

"Erna has given me an outline of what will happen on the day, so I'm all set," Penny said.

"Fabulous," said Frasier. Erna smiled.

"Where do I sign?"

"Not so fast!" Sheldon said, holding his finger up in the air, "I have one or two adjustments to make."

"You do?" Frasier asked.

Penny stiffened. What the hell was he doing?

"I would like to draw your attention to Exhibit A, Clause 2d."

Frasier opened his copy and began flicking as Sheldon continued, "…the Artist shall not be deemed to recommend or endorse any related product other than the commercial product or engage in any publicity or other activities for any such purpose but without prejudice to Clause 5 hereof…"

Penny curled her lip. "Huh?"

Frasier and Sheldon turned the page in unison, "... for a minimum period of five years or thereafter for the period necessary to complete all continuous services required at the Producers discretion."

"Yes, what you do propose?" Frasier asked.

"That you amend 'at the Producers discretion' to, 'from Artist in connection with principal photography of the assignment.'"

Frasier nodded, and began to scribble on his copy, "That would be acceptable." He placed his initials next to both amendments.

"And also… the next clause."

Penny heart was pounding now. She glared at Sheldon, but he simply gave her a wink and continued. "…artist shall perform additional services prior to and after the term in accordance with the provisions of clause 4 hereof.' I would like removed."

"This is a standard clause."

"My client shall commence on the start date and continue subject only to the provisions for suspension and termination set out in Exhibit A, hereto for a minimum period of a year, not five."

"Make it three."

"Two. And that's our final offer."

Frasier frowned slightly, "Mr. Cooper," he said.

"Dr," he corrected.

"Dr Cooper. You drive a hard bargain but your terms are acceptable."

Penny was frozen on the spot. She didn't have a clue what was happening but Sheldon looked pleased and Mr. Frasier didn't seem to be staring at him, like he were crazy.

"Is there anything further?" Frasier asked.

"No, that is everything."

"Wonderful. If you would please sign both copies," he said.

She took the pen and signed where directed. Erna clapped, "Congratulations Penny."

They chatted for a while and then Erna and Frasier said their goodbyes. "I will see you tomorrow then," Erna said, as they parted. Penny gave her a hug and then collapsed down on her seat, opposite Sheldon. She let out a long breath and narrowed her eyes at him. "So! are you going to tell me what you did then?"

He was grinning back at her, like a contented chipmunk. "You really ought to read contracts before you sign them Penny, considering you had decided not to use your usual representation," he said, smugly.

"Okay, smartypants, just tell me."

"I closed the loop holes. The contract stated you couldn't do similar work for five years after the airing of their commercials. Thereafter, you would have needed their permission, for any work you did undertake. I reduced this restriction from five to two, took out their permission clause. You can not do any other cosmetics work, for two years and then you are free to do as you please."

"Damn! thanks Sheldon."

"You're welcome, now can we go? I am not familiar with this establishment and…"

"Sure," she stood up to leave and they made their way to her car. Penny was already imagining what was in store the next day. She had been sent the itinerary and this one, she was going to read back to front.

Sheldon fell quiet on the way back to the apartments but when they were almost home he suddenly turned and said, "For your information Penny, I do not hate cheesecake."

She almost lost control of the wheel. "What?!"

"Honestly, I have no idea where you get your ideas from," he said, shaking his head.

"That damn woman!" Penny spat, "I only just spoke to her last night."

"Mrs Hofstadter and I are in regular contact, as I thought you were aware."

Oh crap. She had forgotten about their robot connection.

"Besides, that darn woman as you put it, will be your mother-in-law one day," he said, "Should you ever marry Leonard that is," he added, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Penny pulled a face. That was not a pleasant thought. "What else did she say?" she asked, hesitantly.

"She said you had a fixation with me."

Penny gasped, "I-I do not!"

"Well, she is a professional, Penny."

"I don't care, I do not have a fixation with you. God!" Penny felt heat rising to her cheeks.

"Why on earth not?" he sounded disappointed.

"Because… because I just don't!" she snapped. "Let's just get home."


	12. Chapter 12

Sheldon's eyes shot open. It wasn't time to get up but he was so full of anticipation, he had woken before the alarm went off. Laying perfectly still, a mixed of excitement and apprehension coursed through him, settling in the pit of his stomach.

It had been years since he'd last thought of her. He hadn't forgotten of course, he had simply buried her deep within. Where the nepotism of others, could not reach her. If he hadn't seen her spitting image just a week ago, in the form of his blonde neighbor, this is where she would have stayed. Forever.

She was safest there. Deep within his chasms of his mind, where no one could find her. On the rare occasions, when she came up in conversation, he remained quiet. Pretending the gratuitous remarks that were inevitably made, were about someone else.

They didn't see her. How could possibly see her, as he did?

He cast his mind back to the night before, he found her. It wasn't difficult. He recalled everything far too acutely, every painful detail of every second. The smell of bourbon. Loud voices. Frequent missiles launched across the kitchen with a crash and thud. His mother praying and finally weeping softly, after his father eventually passed out. Sheldon lay awake long after it silenced, huddled up with a pillow over his head.

The very next day, the others drove into town early to get supplies. Which was Mrs Coopers' fruitless attempt to keep Mr. Cooper away from the liquor and give Sheldon, the most sensitive of her offspring, some extra time to sleep. His sister was supposed to mind him but she would always sneak next door to her best friend Cheryl's house, returning when she heard the pickup rumbling back up the drive, hours later.

As the engine choked to life, Sheldon leapt out of bed and ran to the kitchen window. Drawing the curtain back, just enough to see them driving away. He decided he would do some reading, to settle his nerves. Anything to do with science occupied his brain. He was already finding his siblings and classmates had less talent for acquiring knowledge and this comforted him greatly. He had something that was his and his alone.

As he reached for the rucksack containing a new set of library books, Missy entered the kitchen. "You be good, you 'ear," she said, as she slipped out the front door.

"Wait!" Sheldon called out, grabbing the rucksack and running after her even though he was still only in his pajamas.

"No Sheldon, you can't come. Don't be a-running after me." Missy said, sternly.

"Just this once," he begged.

"We be doing girl stuff. Get yourself back to bed."

Normally, Sheldon couldn't think of anything worse than joining his sister for _girl stuff_. All this consisted of, was smoking cigarettes and talking about boys but he was rattled from the events of the night before. He could still hear yelling in his head.

"I'll tell on y'all!" he said.

"Go on then!" she mocked.

"I'll drive into town right now!" he said, padding over to his fathers' old clapped out car, in his bare feet.

She ignored him and kept walking, so he stretched up his small hand and placed it on the handle, defiantly.

"I'm takin' the car!" he bellowed out.

"I done told you, go back to bed."

Click.

The handle moved. It was unlocked.

Sheldon didn't know what possessed him that morning. He was overcome with rebellion, which would emerge in his later years as an unshakeable self-belief. Once Missy was clean out of sight, he pulled open the door and climbed into the big seat, dropping his rucksack down next to him. A sweet waft of alcohol filled his nostrils from discarded bottles on the floor. He pulled his feet up to his chest, so as not to touch anything and sat there, feeling a little calmer encased within the metal frame.

He knew he wasn't allowed in his fathers' old car, even though it hardly ever started. He would get in trouble, if he were caught but that morning, groggy from lack of sleep, he just didn't care. Casting his eyes around his fathers' forbidden territory, he surveyed the disarray about him. Bottles, clothes, empty packets. It was a mess. Cluttered and dirty, he was only 7 years old but he already hated, cluttered and dirty. He decided, he would leave immediately and pushed the door back open with his foot but as he picked up his rucksack, something fell to the floor. Something bright. He reached down and pulled the vibrant case from the debris.

It was her.

His eyes flew wide open and a breath caught in his throat. Sheldon's fascination for science was no secret but it was at that moment, his imagination sprung to life. The golden landscape of an uncharted alien world lay before him, connecting with something deep inside his being. It sparked a desire for discovery and a realization of where science could take him. Far away from this place, there was a better future and standing at the center of it all was a woman. Fearless and incandescent. This must be the true Queen of the galaxy, he thought. It had to be.

His breath quickened in anxiety. He knew he should put the case right back where he found it. He couldn't take it. He would get in to so much trouble and Sheldon hated trouble, almost as much as he hated clutter and dirt. Glancing around the filthy car, he considered a place to return the VHS safely but it didn't seem fitting. He felt an overwhelming compulsion to rescue her from the chaos of his fathers' putrid vehicle and tucked the tape into his rucksack instead. "I will return it, once I have watched it," he told himself, as he scampered away from the scene of the crime, his heart pounding wildly.

He never did.

Beep, beep, beep.

Sheldon was shaken from his nostalgia. He sat upright and pressed the alarm button, then was out of bed and heading for the bathroom to shower in a flash. He would not be late for this.

* * *

Over at 4b, Penny was in a panic. She just couldn't find anything and had very little time left before Sheldon would come triple pounding on her door. This was only a commercial but for some reason she was nervous as anything. She had read through the notes Erna had sent and it sounded a bit unconventional. She just hoped, she could do a good job of it. The money was brilliant though, so she knew it was going to get a lot of coverage.

Sure enough, Sheldon's arrived right on schedule. He was unusually lively and buoyant this morning and shooed her out the door, saying. "Don't worry, I have looked over the requirements, I have everything in hand."

He continued to rattle away in the car, on their journey. "There have been several attempts to remake Barbarella, you know," he said.

"Huh-huh," said Penny.

"Yes, the latest attempt would have seen a release in 2010 but the Director abandoned the project."

"How come?"

"The studio wouldn't approve the budget. I was terribly disappointed but now..." he sighed.

Penny glanced over, "Sweetie, you know this isn't a remake, right? It's only a commercial."

"I know," he said.

"I just don't want you to be disappointed," she looked over at his flushed cheeks. "Sheldon?" He didn't respond so Penny pulled the car over to the side of the road, and turned to face him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I want you to look at me."

Sheldon turned in his seat, to face her, "This is not a Barbarella, sweetie. Tell me you understand that?"

"Of course I do."

"Say it."

He huffed, "Penny! really?"

"Say it Sheldon!"

He gave her a derisive look, "Very well, this is not Barbarella," he groaned.

"Good," she said gently and started the car again.

He didn't speak again until they rounded the corner, to the hotel where the shoot was taking place. "We're here!" he announced, excitedly.

This assignment was a far cry from the first fiasco she had been involved with. Firstly, the setting was incredible; they were shooting in a gorgeous Victorian hotel. The décor was lavish and extravagant, with really high ceilings and gold ornate fireplaces. Secondly, the team were so organized and professional, everything was set up in no time. They started filing background shots while she was in make-up and Erna ran through the logistics of what she had to do.

The commercial was to be shot with her feet off the ground, literally floating in mid-air. This would be achieved by having her wear a harness, which she would be suspended from, by wire and hooks. They would be able to remove the wires at the post-production stage.

She was led to the dressing room and helped into the tight fitting harness. A specially adapted dress was placed over this. The dress was beautiful, floor length with slits up the side and made in a golden sheer fabric. She wore long silk gloves. This was all covered up with a black cloak, with a large hood.

In the meantime, Sheldon was busying himself double-checking the equipment and making calculations to ensure the safety of the hoists. She could hear his voice faintly from time to time and she hoped he wasn't making a nuisance of himself.

"Are you ready?" Erna asked.

"I think so… yes!"

Erna gently pulled the hood up and led Penny out of the dressing room and in front of the cameras. She was completely obscured by the cloak and felt like a monk. The lighting was very bright and this, combined with the hood, meant she could barely see a thing. One of the crew went behind her and attached some links to the back of the harness. She caught a glimpse of Sheldon, move in on her left side and check everything he had just done.

"Okay Penny," Erna said, "Please try to relax, you will be lifted off the floor shortly and we want you to hide inside the cloak and then slowly stretch your left arm out, when directed."

"Okay."

"Try to do everything slowly, as if you are floating gracefully in space. We want to create an illusion of weightlessness."

"Like the opening scene of Barbarella." This was Sheldon's voice.

"Yes, a little nod to the movie," Erna said. "Except you will be emerging from a cloak, not a spacesuit."

The crew laughed.

Penny didn't need to see Sheldon's face but she just knew he would be wearing his usual, "I told you so," expression.

She didn't have time to consider this, as she felt her feet suddenly leave the floor. It was an odd but not an unpleasant sensation. She had never had a fear of heights but not being able to see, was a little challenging.

There was a lot of talk about lighting and Sheldon seemed to be having a conversation about something called, diffusion material.

"I suggest blackwrap here, to affect where the light falls," he said.

"Yeah, the barn doors aren't quite high enough," said an unidentified male voice. Then was a lot of shuffling around and flash bulbs going off.

"Don't worry Penny," Erna said, "Just getting the lighting right."

Well, I'm not going anywhere, Penny thought, snickering to herself as she hung limply in the air. It was quite relaxing at this point but things were about to get a lot harder.

"Okay Penny, we're ready."

The first part was easy, she was directed to extend one arm out from beneath the cloak and then slowly remove a glove. It all went very well.

"Great, now try to extend your left leg out slowly, pointed toes please." A male voice instructed.

Penny got to a certain point but found that once she attempted to extend her leg, the wires began to swing. This was trickier than she thought. She tried several times and began to feel panicked, as the swinging got worse. Suddenly a hand grabbed hers and she held tightly until the swinging subsided. Still unable to see anything in front of her, she was surprised to realize it was Sheldon's hand. She knew those horrible brown trainers anywhere.

"Sheldon," she whispered, "I don't think, I can do this."

He moved closer and whispered in her ear. "Barbarella had an angel who would never let her fall."

Penny felt her eyes prickle with tears and she suddenly felt very relieved that he was with her. Then, concentrating hard on regaining control, she tried once more. This time it worked, she really had to tense her muscles and use a lot of control but she soon got the hang of it. After the next shot, the cloak was removed and she could see, which made it a lot easier.

The rest of the day, went smoothly. She had to take frequent breaks because trying to control her movements in mid-air, was exhausting. By the time they shot the final scene, she ached all over but felt wonderful. She bounded into the dressing room, to the crews applause.

Erna buzzed around unbuckling this and unhooking that, "You were amazing! Better than I dreamed," she said, "…and you'll be pleased to know, tomorrow will be easy. No more harnesses."

"Thank god!" Penny groaned, her thighs were aching now. They were going to hurt tomorrow.

"So what's the situation with Sheldon?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought he was just your representative but he has far too much technically minded to be just a booking agent."

"He's a physicist."

Erna laughed, "Is he?"

"Yup, a total genius."

"Well, he could work in movies, that's for sure. He gave us quite a few pointers."

"I bet he did," she said, chuckling to herself as she picked up her bag. When she emerged from the dressing room, Sheldon was waiting. He was staring at the floor, deep in thought and hasn't noticed her. "Sheldon," she said, clicking her fingers.

"Yes!" he blurted out, shaking himself out of his reflection.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Me? f-fine."

Penny smiled. She reached around his back and pulled him into a sideways hug. "Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you," she breathed. "Your kind words, at the awful moment on the wires made all the difference," she said.

He went to speak but just stuttered a little, his eyes sparkly back at her. "Okay, let's go home," she said, releasing him.


	13. Chapter 13

_Authors note: Thanks for your patience with this story and all the kind reviews. I know this one has been a slow burner and mostly a friendship based story. Now it's time to hot things up for our favourite pair. _

_Warning: slight spoiler from Season 7. Very minor though._

* * *

When they got back, Penny had been exhausted and could barely keep her eyes open. After changing into her Hello Kitty shorts and vest, she fell into a deep sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The following morning, as her eyes slowly flickered open, the memories began to flood back in. What a wonderful day that had been. Made all the better, for Sheldon being there. To advise, assist and observe. She smiled at his choice of words. Negotiating the contract and getting personally involved in the special effects, came very naturally to him. She imagined what the others would think, if they could see how well they were getting on right now.

"Who would have thought that wackadoodle, had it in him?" She imagined Howard would say.

The truth was, Sheldon had always _had it in him_ and this wasn't the first time he had helped her. Before Leonard went away, she had got used to thinking of him as a hindrance and had forgotten this fact. She deciding she would get up early and take him for breakfast, as a thank you. But as she tried to move…

"Owwwwwwwww!"

A red hot pain shot through her legs. "Sheldon!" she yelled, knowing he wouldn't be able to hear her cries from his bedroom, even with Vulcan hearing. She had to get up.

It took a few seconds to register, what the trouble was. All those hours of tensing her muscles in mid-air, had left her crippled in agony. She hauled herself up and limped towards to door, gritting her teeth against the excruciating cramps. "Oh god, what about the shoot!" Was all she could think?

Managing to stagger across the hall, she pounded on 4a, "Sheldon!" she yelled again.

The door swung open and a spooked looking physicist appeared in his pajamas, "Penny, what…?" was all he managed to get out, before she fell forward into his arms. "Sheldon, I can't move," she said, tearfully.

He gasped in alarm, at the sudden bodily contact.

"It's my legs, they're frozen up!"

Penny had always been fit. She jogged regularly and considered herself sporty but the intense posturing yesterday, must have been too much.

They stumbled towards the couch and she fell onto the center cushion. Sheldon dropped down in front of her, his eyes frantically appraising the situation. He placed his hands on tops of each knee and began to rub vigorously, up and down the muscles of her thighs.

"Oww! What's wrong with them?" she cried.

"It's muscle fatigue caused by increased excitatory afferent activity, within the muscle spindles," he said.

"I'm going to die!"

"Highly improbable."

"What about the shoot?"

"I believe a combination of massage, stretching and the ingestion of fluids should…" Sheldon stopped mid-sentence. He leapt up and away, almost stumbling over his own feet, as he did so. The sudden realization that he had just spent the last minute, massaging Penny's naked thighs, hit him like a brick. He staggered to the kitchen sink and turned on the tap. Looking down at his palms, which tingled from the warmth of her smooth flesh.

I touched her! I touched her bare skin.

Penny had taken over rubbing her own sore legs and was oblivious to the turmoil, raging through the physicists mind. He was standing in front of the running water, but instead of placing his hands beneath it, he was simply watching the water run and drain away. He felt no compulsion to wash them and was enjoying the warm sensation. "Oh my word," he said, his voice soft and shaky.

Penny looked up. "Did you say something?"

He turned around, still staring at his trembling fingers.

"Sheldon, what's the matter?"

"Penny, I have something to tell you."

Just at that moment, the front door flew open. There in the doorway, stood Amy, her face like thunder.

"Amy! Hi," Penny said.

"Hello Penny," she said, "I would like a word with Sheldon. Alone. If you don't mind."

"No problem. I was just…" Penny said, as she slowly tried to stand up. Her muscles were still aching but she was a lot more mobile, than she had been earlier.

Amy didn't wait until Penny had left, she thrust her phone in Sheldon's direction, "What's this?"

Sheldon dropped his hands promptly and concentrated his attention on the phone, "I believe that is the text, I sent to inform you I was not going to be available this weekend," Sheldon said, innocently.

"Working for Penny?!" she bellowed, "That has to be the worst excuse you've ever come up with."

Sheldon looked back and forward between the two women. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

"Amy, it's the truth," Penny said, finally relieving Sheldon's distress, "I'm doing a commercial and Sheldon has been helping out."

Amy's relaxed a little and dropped her arm, "Really?"

"It's a long story but yes, he assisted yesterday."

"See!" Sheldon said, crossing his arms, stubbornly.

"But we have not spent any time together since date night and I asked you for things to return, to how they were before Leonard went away," Amy whined.

Penny had begun to tiptoe towards the door, hobbling only slightly now and hoping she wouldn't get dragged in to this.

"Penny!" Sheldon snapped.

Oh crap!

She turned to see both of them looking at her, with expectation. "Urm… well… Sheldon was very helpful at the motion picture shoot…"

"And today I will attend the still photography shoot," he said.

Amy did not look pleased, "I don't see why, you would need to go to a photography shoot at all."

He couldn't answer. "I-I…"

"No Sheldon! I want you to spend the day with me. I'm sorry Penny but do you really need him there?"

"I suppose not," she admitted.

"Good, it's settled then."

She continued to explain to Sheldon, that before Leonard's departure they always spent one day together on weekends, as Penny hobbled back towards her apartment door. I guess I will have to do without my 'Personal Contact' today, she thought. As she closed the door, she saw Sheldon's sad face looking back at her.

* * *

The still photography shoot was very easy. Thankfully most of it was done sitting or lying down, on big satin pillows. It was fun but she kept seeing Sheldon's disappointed eyes, flashing through her mind. "No Sheldon, today?" Erna asked, which only made her feel worse.

"He couldn't make it," Penny said.

It wasn't Amy's fault. She just wanted to spend time with her boyfriend. That was perfectly normal, Penny told herself. Even so, it just wasn't the same without him and he had really wanted to be there. She felt bad for him. When the shoot was finished, she went for a quick drink with the crew and then went on home.

She felt a little deflated as she walked away from Erna to her car alone. She wanted to go home and celebrate with Sheldon because he had been so involved in all of this but she knew interrupting him and Amy was out of the question. She was also curious about what had he wanted to tell her before Amy arrived?

As she climbed in to the car, Bernadette called. "Hi Penny, I heard about your commercial and thought you might want to celebrate with some Thai and a few beers."

"Yes please, I would love that."

"Great, we're meeting a 4a."

"Are you sure that's okay with Sheldon and Amy?"

"Well he suggested it, so it must be."

"Great, I'll see you soon."

* * *

Raj, Howard, Bernadette, Amy and Sheldon were already gathered at 4a when she got there. The food had arrived and everyone was helping themselves. "Hi guys," Penny said.

"Hi Penny," they all said in turn.

"Congratulations," Bernadette said.

"Thanks."

"Grab a beer, and a chair," Howard said, amused by the rhyme.

Penny wandered over to the kitchen and found herself instantly accosted. "Tell me everything," Sheldon demanded, "Don't leave anything out."

"I'll tell you next week. It's my turn for the Sheldor Shuttle," she teased, "and it will give us something to discuss on the journey."

"Ohh!" he huffed, impatiently and stomped his foot.

She grabbed a beer and took a nice long swig, then wandered over towards Sheldon's desk with him shadowing her. "I'm not telling you, Sheldon. I want to relax tonight." she said, sensing he was right behind her.

He gave her a stubborn look and stood firm. "I see you still have some of this research here?" she said, looking at the neat pile of folders on his desk.

"Only the most relevant data," he said.

Penny absentmindedly flipped open a cover, then flipped it closed again. Knowing Sheldon was watching her impatiently. Ignoring him, she opened another folder, glancing down the text filled page. He huffed and wandered off to the fridge. Penny smiled, she enjoyed taunting him a little and was about to close the folder, when something on the bottom of the page caught her attention.

"Sheldon, come here," she whispered, in his direction.

He was leaning over, looking inside the fridge very intently. He grabbed a bottle of water and then returned, to look over her shoulder.

"What?" He was standing awfully close.

"This name, who is it?"

"Natalia Burkov."

"It this hydrodynamics?"

"Of course not. It's neutrino telescope data," he sounded almost offended.

"But what does she do?"

"She's an expert in deep-sea mapping."

No wonder nothing had come up when she searched the words, Burkov and hydrodynamics, Penny thought. "Mapping?" she said, "Is that like an underwater scout?"

Sheldon let out a little snort. "Underwater scout," he seemed to find this funny. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Except, I think she's on the boat with Leonard."

"Very possible, she's quite brilliant. Steven Hawking hand-picked them all."

His words stung a little. Everyone was 'brilliant', everyone but her.

"Who's brilliant?" Howard asked, as he approached to get a beer.

"O-oh, no one…"

Sheldon looked confused at Penny's stuttered response and replied. "The members of Steven Hawkings' crew, of course," he said frowning at her.

"Heeeeey! I have a great idea," Howard announced to the room, "Let's call Leonard. I can get a connection through the laptop, we can video call direct to the boat."

"Awesome," said Raj smiling, "It will be like a dinner date."

They all looked at Penny, "Okay. Great!" she said.

Howard placed his laptop on the coffee table and everyone gathered around. He tapped away and a screen popped up. Then with a crackle, a flushed male face appeared on the screen. "HELLO!"

"Helloooo," said Howard, "Is Leonard Hofstader there, please?"

"WHO?" the line crackled again and the intermittent sound of very loud music came rippling, in and out.

"Hofstader!" Howard repeated.

"WE'RE HAVING A PARTY!"

"I can tell that, but can we speak to Leonard Hofstader, please?"

"HOFSTADER? HE'S HERE SOMEWHERE?"

"Can you get him for us?"

"BURKOV, WHERE'S BURKOV?" the man shouted to his left.

"Not Burkov! I said Hofstader," Howard was getting a little peeved now.

"HE'LL BE WITH BURKOV BUT THEY…"

The line crackled and then froze.

Penny stared at frozen face on the laptop for a few seconds. She felt a numb chill pass over her. "He'll be with Burkov." The words hung in the air.

"Sorry Penny, we lost connection," Howard said, tapping at the keys wildly.

"That's okay. It's looks like the wrong time to call anyway," she said, forcing a smile.

She then turned away towards the kitchen, only to be faced by Sheldon standing directly in front of her. Praying he wouldn't say anything to the others, she moved around him and went to the cupboards to get more plates. They probably didn't need them but she just wanted a moment to herself. She wasn't going to get it because Sheldon materialized next to her. Again, he was standing much closer than expected. "Why did you ask me about Burkov, just now?" he asked quietly, so the others couldn't hear.

"Leonard has mentioned the name."

"Mentioned her how?"

"Sheldon! Come and eat your food before it gets cold and stop bothering Penny about that darn photo shoot," Amy yelled across the room. She was clearly not thrilled that their romantic evening, had become a group gathering.

Penny moved away and quickly made her way to the couch sitting down next to Amy, with Sheldon close on her heels. She picked up the carton of food but didn't feel hungry.

"So, tell us about your new commercial?" Bernadette asked.

Sheldon's ears pricked up and she could feel his eyes in her. "Well, it's not exactly a new commercial…"

"Penny lied!" Sheldon blurted out.

"Sheldon! I was going to explain that."

Everyone exchanged looks of bewilderment.

"The original commercial was cancelled and I was too upset to talk about it. Silly really, I should have told you."

"So if it was cancelled, why did they film it after all?" Amy asked.

"I'm not 100% sure how it works, they stopped in the middle of filming and a couple of weeks later…"

"It was a takeover," Sheldon finished.

Penny shot him a glare, which puzzled him completely.

"So are you still retro girl?" Raj asked.

"No, but it did have a vaguely retro feel to it, they copied the Barbarella opening scene."

"From the movie?" Howard asked.

"Yes."

"Oh yes, that's why you borrowed it from me." Raj said.

She looked up, to catch Sheldon's startled eyes. Oh crap!


	14. Chapter 14

"Sheldon!"

Bang, bang, bang.

"Open up. It's quarter past 8," Penny called, to the locked door.

It was Monday morning and he hadn't come knocking, for his lift to work. There was an eerie silence, on the other side, which made her belly tighten horribly. After Raj mentioned the movie, he had gone very quiet, excused himself early and taken off to his room. Amy was both annoyed and concerned, "He won't open the door," she said, after failing to coax him out. "What's wrong with him?"

"Where do we start?" Howard mocked.

"Maybe he's retiring to complete the pupae stage of his transformation into…" Raj lifted his eyebrows towards Howard.

"The Swooping Shel-moth!" they chorused in unison.

Amy frowned. She didn't feel in the mood for jokes right now.

"I'm sure he'll be okay tomorrow," said Bernadette, trying to sound reassuring.

"He's probably just moody because he didn't get to lord it over your photo shoot," said Howard.

"Yeah, you know what he's like, when he doesn't get his way," Raj agreed.

"I guess," Penny said, feeling a little anxious.

Howard leaned in, with a wink. "Count yourself lucky," he said.

That evening she went to bed, wracked with guilt. There was no way of knowing what was going on his Sheldon's mind. He was so unpredictable and a little fragile. What if he never spoke to her again? This was too unbearable to imagine. So, the following morning, when he didn't turn up at 8am sharp, she began banging on the door, as hard as she could. "Sheldon!" she pleaded, "You'll be late!"

Finally the latch clicked and the door crept open a crack, "There really is no need to shout," he said.

She gasped, "I was worried. It's quarter past already."

"You deceived me," he said, sadly.

The words were so unexpected, she stuttered her reply, "I-I-I know, I'm really sorry," she said.

"I can understand you deceiving Leonard but I never thought you would do that to me."

"I feel terrible Sheldon. It all happened so fast when you insisted on helping with the shoot. And, I really wanted you to come," she said, hoping this would swing it.

"You did?" he said, shyly.

"Yes! I swear!" she crossed her hand across her heart.

He hesitated for a brief moment and then brightened a little, "I thought as much," he said, emerging from the apartment and pulling the door behind him.

It had worked and she instantly felt better, but as they started towards the stairs she realized what he had said, "Wait a minute! What do you mean you can, understand me deceiving Leonard?" she snapped.

"Well, I have always known your relationship had an element of circumvention about it."

"Had a…!"

No, she was not going to get mad and demand to know what that meant. Instead, they made their way silently down the stairs, to the car. Sheldon glided in and fastened his seat belt, in one fluid movement. When he was a young boy, he had been forced to take dancing lessons. She watched him straightening up and noted that a little of that grace had stayed with him. "You do forgive me, don't you?" she found herself saying.

"I do."

"Great," she said, starting the engine and pulling into the line of traffic.

"I fully appreciate your predicament."

Penny frowned. "My predicament?" she said, posing the question cautiously and wondering if she might not like the answer.

"Mrs. Hofstadter explained it to me."

"Oh not this again, Sheldon. She has it all wrong."

"She also explained how denial manifests."

She glanced towards him, narrowing her eyes. "Did she?"

"Oh yes, what is commonly known as denial of cycle, which is what you present within all your romantic entanglements. And denial of fact, over your fixation with me."

Penny frowned, "Yeah right!"

"Yes, just like that!" he said, happily. "Although, I have no understanding why one would be afflicted with such."

"YOU! " she bellowed, "YOU have no understanding of why….?" Her mouth dropped open. "You have no….!" She really couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Of course I don't," he frowned, "And you are repeating yourself. Leonard does exactly the same thing, it's most disconcerting."

"Sheldon! You are Captain Denial! You wrote the book on denial! You have the t-shirt, membership and the ID card to prove it!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Barbarella!"

"Please don't bring her into this," he said curtly and looked out the opposite window.

"Oh boy!"

"I will see you tonight, when I expect you will want to discuss this further?" he said and stepped out of the car.

She rolled her eyes. Discuss what further? There was nothing to discuss. He was completely off his head.

* * *

Later that evening, after driving him back home…

"Sheldon I'm exhausted, I do not want to play giant jenga," Penny said, as they walked up the stairs.

"Klingon boogle? Talisman? Super Mario? Elementary Latin with whimsical puns?" he said, excitedly.

"Why don't you play these games with Amy on Thursday? Or invite the guys over."

"Because, you are driving me to my various commitments and engagements this week, I see it as my civil duty to exercise you lethargic and thoroughly disengaged brain. It's the very least I can do."

She groaned. "If you really want to do your _civil duty_ you could buy me dinner. The pay for the commercial won't clear my account until friday."

"You feed the stomach, but not the mind, Penny," he said, shaking his head.

"Yes and my stomach is a genius!"

Sheldon gave her a baffled look and was going to argue this, but decided against it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys instead.

"Are you sure you don't want commission for helping me with the commercial?"

"Quite sure."

"Well Shellybean, I'm going to reward you anyway. We are going to hit the town on friday! I'm taking you out!"

He frowned at the use of his nickname, "No thank you. It's Chinese on fridays and I prefer to stay in," he said, unlocking the door and pushing it open.

"Nooooo, let's go out. Don't you want celebrate with me?"

"Certainly," he said, "with Chinese!"

She rolled her eyes and wandered inside, dragging her feet and launching her bag in the direction of the couch. It landed with the clunk. Then flopping herself down next to it, she looked up with a pout. "I want to do something special for you, after all your help on the weekend. And don't tell me Chinese is special," she warned, as he opened his mouth to protest.

He looked a little pensive and then said, "Hmmm, well there is one special event, I would like to go too."

Penny curled her lip in shock, "Seriously?"

"The comic book store is having a science fiction party on Friday, to coincide with the release of Riddick."

"And how is that special?" she asked, sarcastically.

"We can dress up."

"Let me guess, you'll be the Flash?"

He stood before her, his lips curled in a contented smile. For a genius, he really was a cute little idiot, she thought and started to giggle to herself. "Alright," she said, "but why I'm agreeing to this, I'll never know."

Sheldon ordered the food, which arrived very quickly and smelt amazing. She was absolutely ravenous and tucked in straight away, as he rambled on about China's rice production, per land coverage. Which she wasn't really taking in.

"So, what did you want to tell me the other morning?" she asked, "before the photo shoot."

His gaze was contemplative, he rose and went over to the desk, opening a drawer and removing the pocket watch he had brought on their trip to the jewelry store. Returning with it in hand, to sit back down. "This will be interesting," he said.

"What's that for?" she asked, looking at the watch and shoveling in another mouthful.

"An experiment, he said.

She shrugged. "What kind of experiment?"

"I didn't wash them," he simply said, clicking the button on top of the watch.

"What?" she asked, "you didn't wash what?"

Sheldon simply pursed his lips and very carefully placed the watch down and picked up his food again.

"What the hell? Are you timing me?!"

He didn't respond.

"What do you mean, _you didn't wash them_? You didn't wash _what_?"

"I'm not going to help you," he said.

She huffed and continued to eat in silence. Sheldon was picking away at his rice patiently with a decidedly smug expression. She glanced at the stopwatch spinning away on the coffee table in front of them. "I don't care what that's for," she said, sulkily but the darn thing kept catching her attention. "You big weirdo!" she added, defensively.

Sheldon ignored her and took a small mouthful.

Then she had it! "Your laundry!" she burst out.

"What about it?"

"Urm…. maybe on Saturday…. after the photo shoot you forgot to wash it."

"As you know, the shoot ended at 6pm and then we came directly home. I did my laundry at 8.15pm as per my usual routine."

"Huh!"

The stopwatch hands spun away in the most irritating way, she leaned towards it. "Leave it!" he warned.

"I wasn't ganna," she lied.

She could feel his eyes boring into her, with indignation. "Okay, I was but heaven forbid that I should touch anything that belongs to you, or your food, or your person."

He turned with his eyebrows raised, expectantly.

"What?!" she spat.

Sheldon sighed.

Wracking her brain, she put down her food and went over what she remembered, about yesterday morning. What was he getting at? Then her eyes widened and she shook her finger at him, "You!" she pointed, "…you… the other day! Y-y-you touched me."

"Yeeeessss," he prompted.

"Oh my god! you never do that! You never touch other people."

He simply nodded.

"So that's it then?"

"What?"

"What you were going to tell me before Amy arrived?"

"No."

"Damn it! Okay, I can work this out," she said, "I knocked on the door…"

"You bellowed outside my door," he corrected.

"Then you opened up and we fell over here on the couch and you dropped to your knees. Then you massaged my legs, then that's it."

He gave her a derisive look.

"Sheldon, that is all that happened because Amy arrived after that."

"That is _not_ all that happened."

"Well, you didn't massage them long because I did took over, while you were washing…." She clapped her hand over her open mouth and turned to face his knowing blue eyes.

Sheldon picked up the watch and clicked the button to stop. "Ten minutes and thirty eight seconds," he said, shaking his head in disappointment. "You really ought to think about stretching your reasoning powers by…" but before he could say another word, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Oh!" he gasped.

"Sheldon, I'm so happy for you," she said, as tears began to form in her eyes. "This is just wonderful," she said, squeezing him a little tighter and ignoring his limp, unresponsive manner. She was overcome with emotion, her heart swelling with warmth inside her chest and as she pulled back to see his delicate face, an impulse took over her. He was inches away, before reality hit her clean in the face.

Oh my god! I almost kissed him. What the hell am I doing?

Quickly removing her arms, she pulled away, her head spinning in alarm. "I-I'm very tired, I-I think I'll go to bed early." She said, feeling around for her bag and trying to pull it on her shoulder. It wouldn't do what she wanted it too, so she gave up in frustration and held it against her. Then staggering away from the couch, she left.

"Good night," he said, as she disappeared.


	15. Chapter 15

The waiter arrived at the table and set down two large glasses of Merlot. He gave Penny a cheeky grin but it went unnoticed because she was right in the middle of a rant, "…THEN!" she exclaimed, grabbing up a glass and taking a big gulp, "…I almost kissed him! I don't know what got into me."

"I do!" Lena purred, placing her hand, on the stem of the other and pulling it towards her.

"But this is Sheldon!" she bellowed, throwing her hands in the air.

"He's a guy, isn't he?"

"Not really."

"Okay, so he's a 30-something virgin but he's still a guy."

"Worse, he's a Sheldon!"

"Have you ever thought of… you know?"

"What?"

"Giving him a helping hand?"

"God…nooooo!" Penny said, blushing a little.

"Not even subconsciously?" Lena asked.

"No, his girlfriend is a friend of mine."

"How close a friend?"

"Lena!"

"All's fair in love and war, Penny."

"Well, I'm not like that and I have a boyfriend," she said, taking another sip from the glass and looking away.

"I know you're not. I'm just kidding but didn't you mention, your boyfriend might be seeing someone from work. What happened about that email you sent to test him?"

"Oh god! I forgot to check," she said, reaching into her bag.

"You forgot?!" Lena shook her head, "Penny honey, you seriously need to do some soul searching, about who it is, you really have feelings for."

She looked up into Lena's kind hazel eyes and a moment of clarity passed between them. This was bad. Penny had wasted no time finding out what a fixation was, "An obsessive interest in or feeling about someone or something.*" Yet, she had failed to search Burkov and deep-sea mapping, even though she had this information now and the email trap had been completely forgotten.

"Oh god! I do have a fixation with him," she cried, holding her head in her hands.

"I kind of knew that."

"This is just awful."

"Why? If you like the guy and he likes you, then..."

"That's the thing. He doesn't like me, he likes Barbarella."

"Who?"

"A fictional character from the 1960's, who I just happen to look like."

"Damn!"

"I know! Sheldon has a fixation with Barbarella and I have a fixation with him."

Lena tried to hold it in but couldn't and burst into giggles.

"It's not funny," Penny said, realizing, that it kind of was.

"I'm sorry," Lena said, "but let's look at it logically. Your boyfriend is not around, you miss human contact and you spend all this time with your deliciously cute, virginal neighbor. Feelings are bound it get mixed up."

"You're right," she said, "I'm checking for that email." Lena waited as Penny tapped away at her phone. "It's here," she said, taking a few minutes to scan through the contents.

"What did he say?" Lena asked.

She placed the phone down on the table, "There's no mention of her."

"Oh."

So there it was. She knew Leonard was keeping information about Burkov's gender from her but in truth, that was all she knew. Anything else, was inconclusive.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing," she said, pushing the phone back into her bag and zipping it shut.

"Nothing?"

"I can't do any of this by mail. I'm going to forget about it and deal with the situation when he gets back."

"Very wise."

Penny let out a breath and scanned her eyes around the room, "One thing at a time," she said.

"And Sheldon?" Lena asked.

"It's just a fixation, it will pass," she said, deciding she had to make a conscious effort to break this attachment to him. It couldn't lead anywhere. He had chosen Amy as his partner and she had no right to interfere. This week wasn't helping matters. It was her turn to drive him around and then there was Stuart's party on Friday. Next week, she would start afresh, they would spend less time together and things could return to normal, she told herself.

But the week just flew by.

It was Thursday morning already and Penny hadn't slept well. She spent all night trying not to think about Sheldon, and the kiss that never happened. What would it have felt like? How would he have reacted? She tried to push the thoughts away but they persisted. So, when she climbed into the car that morning she wasn't feeling her best, due to lack of sleep. Unfortunately, her quirky passenger was as spritely as a chicken. As soon as he was buckled in safely, he drew out of set of cards from his messenger bag and began to flick through them, excitedly. "Oh goody," he muttered to himself.

He had taken it upon himself to prepare, 'Interesting factoids' for their journey and Penny had let him ramble on to his hearts content, knowing that soon all this had to end. Sometimes, he would lean over and pat her arm, when she got something right. Or, their hands would accidently brush against one another. Penny loved those little touches, he was completely unconcerned by them and it filled her with such joy to know, she had helped him overcome some of this. Just like he said she would.

"Thinking back to the questions earlier in the week," he began, "Tell me what is significant about the fact, that despite advances in astrophysics, we still don't know what makes up the majority of the universe?"

"It's significant because…" she mused, "…it holds the answer to how the universe and everything begun."

"That is correct."

He flicked through the cards for a while, "Oh, here's a new one that will interest you."

She sighed within. It was difficult keeping her attention focused.

"Did you know…?"

"No!" she teased.

"I haven't even asked the question yet," he complained.

She burst into a wide smile.

"Did you know, cosmetics were invented by the Egyptians around 12 thousand years ago. It started with the use of scented oils, later came arsenic, lead, mercury, and even leeches."

"Ugh! Leeches?"

"Yes, they used them to drain blood to keep their complexion pale. It was the desired look at the time."

"Get out! Just like Twilight with all those sexy vampires?"

"Twilight is an inferior vampire franchise, Penny," he said, curtly.

"At least they don't use leeches," she said.

Sheldon frowned, unsure why that mattered. "Well, I'm pleased you are responding to this game," he said, "I will prepare more Penny-appropriate cards for tomorrow."

"Only if you want too," she forced a smile, through her weariness. She didn't want to sound ungrateful. Sitting together, in silence was just as good.

"Of course I want too. There's only one more day remaining, then you will no longer benefit from my early morning stimulus."

Penny choked on a laugh, "You might want to rephrase that," she joked.

Leaving him to puzzle that over her remark, she let her mind wander ahead. Next week, it was Howards' turn to drive Sheldon around, Amy was after that and then Leonard was back. It had gone by so fast. She was going to miss spending time with her oddball neighbour, especially now, she was so fond to him.

* * *

The following day at lunchtime Sheldon came rushing into the University café, "Afternoon gentlemen," he said, before plonking himself down and munching furiously away on a sandwich.

"Hey Sheldon," said Howard, "geez you might want to go easy."

"I don't have time," he said, between mouthfuls, "Have… to, finish…get away early."

"Why not work late?" Raj asked.

"Can't!" he swallowed, "It's Stuart's party tonight and before either of you say anything… I call, The Flash."

"Batman!" Howard shouted, on impulse.

"Green Lantern!" Raj shouted. "Damn, it's so easy without Leonard. Everyone gets a good one."

"Yeah, no thumb wrestling, at dawn," Howard jested.

"I miss that," Sheldon said, sadly. He then began to gulp down his water.

"I can't go, anyway. So you can be Batman if you want, Raj because Bernadette has invited the in-laws over for dinner tonight," he looked utterly depressed.

"It's time like these, when I appreciate being the lone wolf of this group," Raj beamed, "Free to roam the plains of the wild, without a keeper."

"Don't remind me," Howard complained.

"So, it's just you and me, Sheldon. Comrades! Brothers in arms! Jedi knights against the republic!"

"I have a date," Sheldon announced.

"How the heck did you get Amy to agree to that?" Howard asked.

"I'm not going with Amy."

He froze, his mouth open, "Come again?"

"I'm not going with Amy," he repeated.

Raj and Howard exchanged bewildered looks, "Let me get this straight. This person you're going with, it's a female, right?"

"Yes."

"And human?"

Sheldon stopped eating his lunch, to frown angrily, "Certainly."

"Does Amy know about this?" he asked.

"No, I didn't tell her?"

"Dude, that's NOT cool," Howard sneered.

"Dude, that's SO COOL!" Raj shouted, then he saw Howard's disapproving glance, "Dude, that's not cool!" he corrected in a lower tone, but he continued to shoot Sheldon approving nods until Howard caught him.

"Raj!" Howard bellowed.

"Sorry, but sometimes the overwhelming glow of collective coupledom, leaves me a little bitter," he whined, apologetically.

"Sheldon, you can't go on a date with another woman without telling Amy."

"Why on earth not?"

"Because…" he looked at Sheldon's clueless expression, "Never mind," he said, deciding that he wouldn't understand anyway.

Sheldon nodded, with the final drop drained from his water bottle, he stood up abruptly, "I have to go," he said, and scurried off.

"Damn, I don't think I'll bother going now," Raj sulked, "Too bad you have that dinner."

"To hell with the dinner! We're going to spy on Sheldon and his date," Howard said.

* * *

"Penny, Penny, Penny," he said, rushing towards the car and launching himself quickly in to the passenger seat, "Let's go."

"Relax, we have plenty of time to get home, eat, get changed and get there fashionably late."

"I'm not fashionable," Sheldon said, with a shake of his head.

"No kidding," she smirked.

He didn't reply to this.

"Guess what?" she continued, "I got paid today, I'm SO rich!"

"It is a significant advance on your previous takings but you are hardly rich," he said, with slight amusement.

"Not Koothrapooli rich but it's richer than I've been in like…ever! So I'm buying you cocktails tonight."

"No, you're not," he said.

"Oh come on Sheldon, we could pop into a bar beforehand."

"The Flash doesn't drink."

"Oh darn it, I forgot about the costume," she said, grimacing. On second thoughts maybe a bar wasn't the best idea. "So… what does The Flash do, besides run fast?"

"He can violate the laws of physics"

"Sounds hot," she said, shooting him a look.

"He operates at normal room temperature, Penny," he said naively, "He can move and think at light speed, pass through walls and even travel through time."

"He better not ditch me by traveling though any walls, tonight," she joked.

"He's a hero... and a gentleman."

"Good, then if I can't buy The Flash cocktails, maybe I can buy him something from the Comic book store, to thank him?"

He gasped, "Would you?"

"Yes, anything you want," she said, pulling the car up and turning off the engine.

"Thanks," he said, leaning over and quickly kissing her on the cheek, before exiting the car.

Penny sat there for a few seconds, her eyes wide with shock. Raising her hand to the warm patch on her left cheek, where his lips had been, she stopped breathing. "Oh… my… god!" she said.

She slowly stepped out of the car and followed on after him, and they went back to their separate apartments. Shortly after, she was standing in front of her open wardrobe, looking inside for the perfect something, to wear. She ran her hand along the colorful rail of dresses but nothing seemed right. If only she had time to spend some of that fabulous money she'd earned, on a new dress. Note to self: Go shopping.

Normally, she could make a judgment call by simply imagining what her date was likely to wear and try to match him style wise, but this time it was impossible. What on earth did she have to compliment being escorted to a party by The Flash? She laughed quietly to herself.

Recalling the quick peck on her cheek, in the car she smiled, but it wasn't long before the smiled faded. Soon this would come to an end, it was the final day before she would make an effort to break this attachment. She had really enjoyed these last couple of months hanging out with him. But Leonard would be back soon and there would be no Sheldor Shuttle. No more need for her, to explore the hidden secrets of his fascinating mind. A feeling of despair swept over her. So much had happened and so many feelings had emerged. She longed to see him every day and missed his presence when they were apart. And, he had changed as well. He could touch! Yet, it would be Amy who would reap the benefit of this. Amy who would walk, side by side, with him and she would have to watch from the sidelines.

In a split second, the decision was made. She crouched down and pulled out a box from the bottom of her wardrobe. A box she never thought would see the light of day, again. Reaching inside she pulled out the synthetic fabric. The Barbarella costume, complete with knee high silver boots! The one she had been told to keep, after the original failed photo shoot. This truly was the only fitting item in her wardrobe, to accompany The Flash, to a party.

She held it up against her. Did she dare?

Yes she did.

This crazy summer was almost over. Why not go out with a big bang.

* * *

References:

* Wikipedia


	16. Chapter 16

Batman prowled the smoky streets of Pasadena, ready to fight the forces of darkness wherever he encountered them. A solitary figure, standing alone for justice. Well… alone, except for his faithful companion, the other Batman.

"You have to change!" Howard said.

"But… you said, I could be Batman," Raj whined.

"YEEEESS!" Howard said, "If I didn't go!"

"You didn't say, _if you didn't go_. You said, _'Raj, you can be Batman.'_"

"You never called it!"

"I called it in my head," he sulked.

As they approached the Comic book store, they could see a large crowd of people moving around inside. Howard peered in the window, "Wow, it's totally full," he said, surprised.

"Yeah, I can't see him yet," Raj said, as he started towards the entrance.

"Are you CRAZY?" Howard said, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him away from the door. "We can't go in the front. He'll spot us right away and I want to observe from a safe distance."

"Observe? why?" Raj frowned.

"Don't you see! This could be the only time The Sheldor with attempt courtship, completely unassisted and in his natural habitat."

"Wow, I see what you mean!" Raj said, "I had to threaten him with a dirty sock to get him to date Amy."

"Exactly! It's like watching a gazelle in the wild," Howard said, "If we spook him, he might flee and I want to witness this spectacle for myself."

Howard stood on tiptoes and tried to look between the posters on the windows, trying to scan the dense crowd. "That whack-a-doodle has eyes like a hawk, as well as Vulcan hearing," he said.

There was a flash of red, moving towards them and he rushed away from the window, pressing his back firmly against the wall, next to the store. "I think I saw him! He's The Flash," he whispered. Raj just stood there, not sure which way to run, "Raj, get over here!"

A young man and woman rounded the corner. They were greeted by the sight of two Batman's, one tiny and the other slightly chunky, backed up against the wall. Exchanging glances, they quickened their pace. Howard relaxed and attempted to fall into a smooth persona. "Just live action role-play, folks," he said, waving at the young couple, "Nothing to worry about," he continued, as they rushed away from the two strange men.

"I think we fooled 'em," he said. Raj nodded in agreement. "There's only one thing for it. We'll sneak in the bathroom window round the back, it's open at this time."

"Cool, it's like we are on a real life mission," Raj gushed.

Howard grinned and they swooped majestically down the side of the building and emerged around the back. "There it is," he rasped, doing his best Batman impression.

Raj rushed over, braced himself and clasped his hands together.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a bum."

"A bump, Raj! It's called a Bumpppppp!' he said, horrified.

Raj gave him an innocent look and Howard tentatively placed his foot on Raj's clasped hands and attempted to launch himself towards the windows edge.

"Ow! ow! ow!," Raj squealed, dropping his hands and sending Howard tumbling, to a heap on the ground.

"Damn it, Raj," he snapped.

"It's those stacked Cuban heels, they dig into my soft little digits," he whined, blowing on his fingers.

"Fine! you do the climbing," he said, standing up and brushing dirt off his costume. He copied Raj's hand clasp and soon they were both wobbled precariously, until Raj called out. "Okay, I have the edge," and dragged himself to the window.

"Great! Let no one say we cower in the face of adversity!" he said, Batman style.

"I'm stuck!"

"What?"

"I knew those doughnuts, where a bad idea. Too many carbs!"

"Oh crap!"

"Well, you never said anything about climbing in windows."

Howard huffed, "Try wiggling."

Raj attempted to move but he was jammed in tight, "It's not working," he cried. "Give me a push."

Howard stretched his arms up towards Raj's back end, "Where?"

"Anywhere!"

"NO WAY! he said.

"You can't leave me hanging here."

"Wait a minute, I've just got a text."

"Dude!"

"Ohhhh, it's from Tekken Tony! He's back from his Doctor Who 50th anniversary pilgrimage. He says, there's a knockout sci-fi blonde in the Comic Book store, wearing a really short mini and she's …"

"She's what?"

"With Sheldon Cooper!" he said, aghast.

"Holy Shiva, Lord of the Purus!" Raj exclaimed.

"He's texting everyone! That's why the store is so rammed."

Suddenly a shrill cry, like the call of a wounded hawk, pierced the dead of night. "HOWARD WOLOWITZ!"

He jumped out of his skin and turned to see his wife, right behind him, her face red with fury. "B-Bernie… darling!"

"DON'T YOU, BERNIE DARLING, ME!" she snorted.

"Urrrmm…"

"I knew you were up to no good, with that sudden emergency call from work. Did you think I wouldn't recognize Raj's fake American accent?"

"I told you," Raj hissed.

"I've been sitting in my car for the last 5 minutes, watching you idiots, from across the street!"

Howard swallowed hard.

"What in heavens name are you doing?"

"Errr….live action role play?" he said, sheepishly.

"But why is Raj climbing in the window?"

"I'm okay," Raj said, a little terrified, "Just leave me."

Bernadette huffed loudly, "Pff! I'm going to help him down, and then we are going back to my parents to finish dinner! After you apologize to them."

"Don't mind me, I'll just…" Raj started.

"You too!"

As they left some time later, a crowd was gathering outside the store. "The place is heaving," Bernadette said, "What's the big attraction?"

"It's Shh.." Howard jabbed Raj firmly in the ribs.

"S-S-SIGNINGS!" Howard shouted over him, "…t-they have a special effects technician from Riddick at the store tonight."

"Oohh! which one?" Raj gushed, to which Howard returned a steely gaze of contempt.

"Any ONE!" he spat, through gritted teeth.

Bernadette shook her head, "Huh!" she hissed and climbed into the driver's seat of the car.

"Zip it," Howard warned his loud-mouthed companion, "We can't tell the girls about Sheldon having a date. We have to know the facts." He said, as they got into the car.

Howard glanced wistfully over at the store, as they drove away. It looked like a best party Stuart had ever had. And they were missing it!

* * *

The Flash and Barbarella arrived at the Comic Book store at 7.00pm sharp. Barbarella had suggested they could arrive a little later, but The Flash insisted this was, "The advertised commencement time," and he was always punctual.

There were only two other revelers there that early and of course, Stuart, who was rendered speechless, at the sight of her. "Ohhhh, lordy!" he muttered to himself as they came through the door.

He wasn't the only one, The Flash had to breath into a paper bag for a full five minutes, when he realized he would be going to the party with Barbarella. He'd stumbled to his spot hyperventilating and Penny had to get a bag from the kitchen cupboard. They always had them handy, just in case of a Sheldon panic attack but he hadn't had one like this, in years. Which she found both flattering and extremely funny. "Breath slowly, sweetie," she told him, rubbing his back to comfort him.

"Call… me…. Flash!" he said, between long gasps into the bag.

"Okay, Flash," she smirked.

They made an agreement to stay in their roles, the entire night. The was just what Penny needed. She rarely got a chance to practice her acting skills these days. The play was months ago and the commercials were mostly, posing and pouting so she took to this idea with great enthusiasm. Tonight, she was Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy and she felt absolutely invincible.

"Hello Stuart," The Flash said, approaching the counter.

"Hi Sheldon."

"Call me, Flash," he said.

Stuart nodded, "And you are?" he asked, gestured towards the blonde.

"Barbarella," she answered, sweetly.

"Of course," he said, not taking his eyes off her, as she strolled away to the drinks table.

"What time is the costume competition?" The Flash asked.

"Not sure…" he said, "…but you guys… you're already won!" he said, still gazing at Barbarella.

"We have?"

"Sure!" he sighed.

"How could you possibly know that, already?"

"Well, the Wonderman costume was really something…. but this…" he moved in closer to whisper, "Did you know Barbarella has always been a crush of mine?"

The Flash frowned furiously and stalked away to join her at the drinks table. She hadn't poured herself a drink yet, she was far too distracted by the two other party goers. The hobbit hadn't moved since she walked in and was staring like a frightened deer and a grubby looking guy in a games t-shirt, was texting wildly on his phone. When the Flash appeared at her side, she decided to turn away and ignore them, "Virgin cuba libra?" she said, passing him a diet cola. He took the can from her and she detected a shy flush of his cheeks, emanating under the mask.

From that moment onwards, the store began to fill up quickly and they saw very little of Stuart. Copying her characters blank, doll-like expression, she found herself the Belle of the Ball. Everyone fluttered around her, smiling and chatting. Who would have thought that cosplay, could be a lot like acting but even more fun, because she could improvise the entire time. Why had she never taken Leonard up on his offer to try this properly? It had seemed so lame when he asked her but tonight was incredible! With the Flash close by her side, she felt like a million dollars and was having the best time ever.

Music suddenly poured into the room, a dramatic orchestral flourish of strings and electric guitar. "What is _that_?" she grimaced.

"The soundtrack to Iron Man," a storm trooper replied.

"Oh no!" she said, marching over to the stereo and flicking on her favorite radio station. Dance beats filled the air and the crown cheered and began to sway. She could do no wrong tonight and she bounded over to the Flash, "Dance with me," she said, grabbing his hands and pulling him into the center of the room.

"I'd rather not," he protested, as she spun him around. Chuckling at his discomfort as she wiggled to the music, in front of him. "Just let yourself go," she said.

The Flash stood stiffly in the middle of the room, "That's not dancing," he said.

"It's freestyle," she said, taking hold of his arms and trying to sway him to the rhythm.

"No, like this," he said and pulled her into a waltz. She laughed hysterically, as she stumbled around, not sure which direction he was going next. Penny had never danced formally before but after a few minutes, she thought it best to let him drag her about. At least it meant, she stopped standing on his feet quite so often. The Flash was intently concentrating on the perfect routine, while she was intently concentrating on the sensation of being so close to him. The proximity of his lean body warmed her all over and the room of people seemed to vanish around them. Tonight, she was borrowing him, but she would have to give him back in the morning. He wasn't hers. She rested her head against his chest; she would make the most of it, while it lasted. There was no harm in this innocent moment, she told herself.

But as the wine flowed and the evening drew on, Barbarella sunk further and further into a magical dream state. Everything seemed to float and shimmer, she was in a happy place. That was until her companion, was suddenly gone from her side. The Flash had got into an argument about the decline of the Riddick movies and she found herself, standing alone.

One of the guys who arrived early on, was nearby. He was a grubby looking, round gentleman, in a well worn games t-shirt and he took the opportunity to step towards her, "Hi, I'm Tekken Tony," he said, "They call me Tekken Tony because I'm best Tekken player, in the universe," he said, waving his hand in the air to emphasize the point.

"That's great," she said.

"And this is, Mario Mike and Bandicoot Bob."

'Okay…"

"They call me Bandicoot Bob…"

"Yeah, I think I can work it out…" she said. Geez, they weren't all geniuses then. She smiled politely, her green eyes darting around for the Flash. She could make out the red of his costume through the crowd, a few feet away and relaxed, draining her glass and quickly pouring another.

Only a few minutes had passed, since the Flash left her side but Barbarella began to feel uneasy. The salivating males around her were drinking heavily and gaining confidence, with every swallow. Bodies began to 'accidentally' bump against her and a crowd of masked and awkward figures started boxing her in. This was all too familiar. Very soon, she would be pawed and molested and the evening would take a distinct turn for the worst. Sure enough, a hand squeezed her bottom and she swung around to plant her fist firmly on the perpetrators' nose but there were too many of them. Five or six bodies, standing too close for comfort. The magical dream world, she'd inhabited for the last four hours faded rapidly from view. To reveal ugly faces, with bulging eyes, staring at her like she were prey. "FLASH!" she shouted.

"Yes!" he was there, in an instant.

"I need rescuing," she pleaded.

The Flash took in the horde of jackals around her, then grabbing her elbow and with a firm, "Stand aside!" he led her a quiet corner, of the room. "I was afraid of this," he said.

Barabarella's head began to clear and she felt a little silly. What was she thinking, going out dressed like a sci-fi tart? Of course, she was going to get harassed. This was reality; it was how the world was.

"It's my fault! I should never have left you," he said.

"It's okay. It's only to be expected," she sighed.

"Indeed. This is exactly what happened when you went to the planet Sogo," he said, shaking his head in disapproval.

She sniffed and tried to remember the part of the movie he was talking about but it was muddled in her head. "The what?"

"When you went to Sogo, all the deviants preyed on you. Grabbing at you, like vultures," he said.

"Yes well, the thing is…"

"What?"

"Well, Barbarella is…"

"Is what?"

His eyes were so innocent.

"Dressed like a slut," she said.

"Don't say that!" he snapped.

"B-but...," she stammered, knowing she had offended him, "she… _I mean I_, have had sex with a lot of guys." This was the truth. She may as well have been talking about herself.

The Flash was studying her closely, "It is not coitus which makes one deviant. It is the mind. You should know this by now, Barbarella," he said.

She looked into his clear blue eyes. There was certainly in them. He was so sure of what he believed and she wanted to cling to that belief. Wanted some certainly for herself, "Should I?" she said, softly.

"Of course."

She stepped closer and gazed up at him, "Remind me," she said.

He looked at her so tenderly and then said, "You come from a time and place where conflict no longer exists, no war, no hate, no destruction. Coitus is no different to you, then the taking of breath, of hydration, or sustenance. You are pure of thought. There is no body consciousness, no Christian shame, no social convention. Your sexuality is powerful and complete, unspoilt by thought of possession, greed or psychosis. You are a child of absolute purity and this is how you defeated the evil sickness of Sogo, by nothing more than your being…"

Maybe it was the vast qualities of wine, or the heady atmosphere of cosplay but she believed him. Buried inside this man, was the most innocent heart, which ever existed. No wonder, he kept it so well guarded. Locked inside, so many layers and defenses. She was sure there could never be another one like it anywhere in this world, anywhere in the universe and she burned for that heart. A heart she hadn't known was there.

"I wish someone would think of me that way," she found herself saying.

"The angel does," he said, reminding her of her role.

"Is the angel, like The Flash?"

"A little, I have wings here," he said pointing to the wings on his mask, "but mostly I am pure of heart too."

"I think you are like him, I don't think there is anyone more like him."

Suddenly, the music soared into an orchestral spiral around them, Stuart had put on another soundtrack, but this time the moment was perfect. The Flash continued to speak about Barbarella's journey through Soho and how the depravity of others would not tame her wild beauty and she fell into a trance. Listening and drifting away, on the sound of his sweet voice, unable to tear her eyes away from his. They were transported into their very own movie. She was the starlet and he was the hero. She let it take her away, like a magical dream. Away from cold hard reality into his fantastical world. She believed.

"Flash?" she whispered.

"Yes, Barbarella"

"Thank you for rescuing me."

"It's what a hero does."

"Is that all he does?" she asked, looking at him with absolute love in her bright green eyes. Then, as the waves of music crashed about them, he kissed her. Just as it should be. Just as the hero kisses the starlet, at the end of every movie. And she melts against his passionate kiss. And then the curtain falls and the crowd begins to roar in applause.

It took Penny a full minute, to realize the entire room was cheering and wolf whistling and it was because of them. The heady cloud of make believe and wine was beginning to lift, so she pulled his body closer and kissed him back, before the spell could be broken. Before their dream could end. When they fell away, Sheldon was panting and dazed by the pandemonium exploding around them. Everyone was yelling and punching the air. She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the crowd. They had to get out of there. Somewhere where they could be safe.


End file.
